Free Welcome to the Funny Farm by Karen Scalf Linamen Page A

are behind me. I no longer look like Michael W. Smith, which is thrilling to me although my fourteen-year-old daughter says she misses snickering at my rendition of “Rocketown.”
    Electrolysis tip: Take a Walkman and listen to your favorite music as your hair follicles are getting zapped. And turn the beat up loud—with enough decibels it’s possible to drown out some of the pain. (But not too loud. Your electrologist will be determining the voltage via a foot pedal. You do NOT want her tapping her toes to the beat. Trust me on this.)
    And when my friends and I aren’t trading health and beauty secrets, we can often be found talking about the relationships in our lives. We ask each other questions like these . . .
    How can I teach my kids to be more respectful? How can I forgive my husband? How can I encourage a friend who’s going through a tough time? I’m lonely—how can I create more meaningful bonds with people around me? How can I get rid of the anger I feel toward my ex? How can I get my kids to be more responsible? Do I criticize my husband too much? If so, how can I build him up instead? How can I set boundaries at work? How can I get along better with my parents?
    From there the categories get even broader. The Bible says God forgives me for my past mistakes—why can’t I seem to forgive myself? How can I stay consistent in God’s Word? Why do I have a hard time believing that Jesus loves me? How can I experience more power in my prayer life? I’m struggling with lust or envy or bitterness—any suggestions how I can win this battle? How can I get a handle on my depression? I can’t seem to trust God about my situation—how can I learn to trust him more?
    I love having these kinds of conversations with my friends. And if you’re not broaching these kinds of topics with godly girlfriends in your life, maybe you should give it a try.
    I find that my friends are a wealth of practical information. No one friend has all the answers, but between them all I’ve gathered useful insights on everything from fixing my cat to fixing my marriage, from bleaching my teeth to harnessing my tongue, from balancing my checkbook to balancing my life.
    And what’s really great is that you and I can have these kinds of intimate, encouraging conversations with our friends any time, anywhere. We don’t have to make a formal appointment! We can encourage each other over coffee at our kitchen tables, via cell phones as we commute home from work, or side by side as we browse garage sales or watch our kids play softball.
    In fact, I was sort of hoping Thursday nights would provide an opportunity for these kinds of conversations with my friends as we drove to our bellydancing classes.
    If that sounds like fun to you, give me a call.
    As of this moment, there’s still plenty of room in the car.

22

    Never Underestimate the Power of an Imperfect Woman
    I REMEMBER THE DAY K ACIE, THEN FOUR, WALKED into my office and announced, “I’m ready to go to the party.”
    Indeed, Kacie was supposed to attend a birthday party in a couple hours. I looked at her. She was wearing her Princess Barbie nightgown.
    â€œKacie, you can’t wear that to a birthday party. That’s a nightgown.”
    â€œMom, it’s a nightgown at NIGHT. Today it’s a dress. I’m wearing this to the party.”
    Immediately I thought back to my childhood. When I was growing up, there were rules about these sort of things. People understood the meaning of the word etiquette. We not only didn’t wear pajamas to birthday parties, we didn’t even wear our play clothes. We wore party dresses, for crying out loud. We had standards. We had manners. This is what made America great.
    All this was running through my head as I evaluated Kacie’s request.
    â€œThis is what I want to wear,” Kacie repeated.
    â€œAll right,” I said. “But the Winnie the