Free Family Interrupted by Linda Barrett Page B

Forcing a smile wasn’t easy, but he needed to see one.
    “I guess...for now.” His brow rose and he grinned. “Scared ya, huh?”
    “I’m shaking.” At that moment, our glances locked, and I started to laugh. Almost giggled. The sound shocked me.
    Jack stared, eyes wide open. Seemed I’d shocked him too. “Wow! What was that strange music?”
    “Don’t know what you’re talking about.” I looked aside.
    “Sure you do.” He caressed my cheek and added, “I’d call it the sound of...of hope.”
    Naturally, he would, the optimist. His eagerness to believe in something good—to see the best—defined my husband. I couldn’t match his attitude, so responded in the only way I knew how.
    “Come on.” I dragged him to the bedroom, and this time, he followed. I stripped him down to the skin. He took over from there, until I took the lead again. We were living in the moment, a timeframe I could manage.
    In the end, we were a collapsed tangle of arms and legs as we gasped for breath. But for those few minutes, pain had given way to pleasure right down to my toes, as I knew it would. Lovemaking allowed me to escape reality, recharge, and face the next day.
    There would always be a next day—lots and lots of them—for however long I lived. And somehow, I’d have to get through each one of them.
    #
    “I should have waited to clean his room,” I wailed, staring at Ian’s gift to Maddy.
    Propped on his pillow stood a hand-drawn graphic he’d called Girl Power. I wasn’t ready for it. Wasn’t ready to see Kayla and Maddy in their fantastical uniforms—including capes— guarding Heaven and Earth. Bold red and yellow for Maddy, perfect with her dark hair; bright green and yellow for Kayla, enriching her auburn shade. The girls flew, fingers almost touching. And surrounding them, scattered everywhere, were stars, flowers, balloons, kites, and the faces of children.
    “Wow!” Jack stared in disbelief. “I knew he could draw, but...but this is terrific.”
    An understatement. But I, of course, couldn’t take my eyes from Kayla’s image. Swallowing hard, I brushed my fingers across her face. “Miss you, sweetheart, I love you so much. I’m so sorry.”
    Jack twirled toward me. “This isn’t about Kayla or you,” he said. “It’s about Maddy. Can’t you figure out what Ian’s done?”
    “Maddy’ll take one look and start crying,” I replied.
    “No, no. This is a happy picture. Ian’s giving her a message. Girl Power. Maddy has the power to do anything, including getting on with her own life. Naturally, her friendship with Kayla is part of her, but I think this picture will take the edge off her sadness. It’ll give her permission to be happy again.”
    Peering at my husband, I said, “You have a habit of seeing only what you want to see. Only the bright side. I bet this picture can be interpreted a hundred different ways.”
    He started to speak, but I patted his hand. “This time, Jack, I hope you’re right.”
    Not only for Maddy’s sake but for mine. I couldn’t bear adding the death of a child’s spirit to my list of transgressions.

Chapter 10
     
     
    JACK
    Sunday, one year after accident
     
    September again
. A year could seem like forever, at least to me. Today the entire family was gathering at the cemetery for a memorial service and then lunching at our favorite Tex-Mex place. This commemoration was Claire’s idea, and I went along with it. So now, I was dressed up in a black suit and tie—also Claire’s idea—but the damn tie’s choking me. Why in hell did I need a tie? Kayla wouldn’t care. Before I could rip it off my neck, however, Claire was in front of me loosening it. One whiff of her familiar light fragrance and I pulled her close, realizing once again how waif-like she’d become.
    “Look in the mirror, Claire. I’m glad we’re going to Casa Olé later. You need those calories!” She was beyond slender now, heading toward skinny. Her cheekbones—both