Free Heat in the Kitchen by Sarah Fredricks Page A

had haunted her for years but that she had thought were firmly buried. She tried to push them away, back where they couldn't distress her.
    Ella had no idea how she'd got home last night. One minute she was getting in the car outside the hall and the next she was home. Half an hour had passed in-between. She hated being paralysed by her past.
    Matt was right - the desire was mutual but it didn't take much to snuff hers out, for it to be replaced by the sordid, dirty feelings she'd carried around with her for twelve years. Feelings so strong she'd never wanted contact with a man. Until Friday. Until Matt.
    He'd been her hidden fantasy for years. And she had fantasised about him - how it would feel to be held in the circle of his arms, to have his hands explore her body, awakening her, arousing her. It had seemed a safe fantasy - she'd never expected to meet him. Even when she'd renewed her friendship with his sisters she'd naively believed their paths would never cross - she'd completely underestimated how close the Duval-Adams family were and that as a result they were likely to meet each other's friends.
    The reality of Matt went beyond her wildest imaginings! She'd been as into the kiss as he had been. The feel of his lips and tongue as he'd ravished her mouth had been ecstasy. His fingers caressing her breast had nearly sent her into orbit.
    She felt her cheeks redden now as she remembered every caress, every touch. She felt embarrassed at how she had responded. It was cold comfort to know that she was even capable of responding.
    That knock on the door! It had brought her crashing down. Reality had slammed into her and the sordid memories of her past - of a man pawing her - had killed the beauty of their heated embrace.
    She shuddered and tightened her robe. Those old thoughts refused to clear.
    Her mother had flirted with men and floundered from one relationship to the next for as long as Ella could remember. Her and her sisters all had different fathers. Ella's father had apparently not been interested in her and Bianca's father had left before she'd been born, but they'd all lived with the pub landlord father of Kelly, her fashion student sister. That had been a reasonably happy time for them all until he'd died of a premature heart attack and they'd been left homeless.
    It was from then on her mother had prostituted herself to keep a roof over their heads. Having Ella at boarding school had suited her mother - it had been one less mouth to feed for much of the year, and it had shielded Ella from some of the sordid nature their lives had plummeted to.
    Being the eldest, and with a six and seven year age gap between her and her sisters, it had been Ella the men had leered at, particularly once she'd hit puberty. She'd always tried to be out of the way whenever one called to pick up her mother but one of them had let them move in with him for a while. That had been the blackest time of her childhood. During her school summer holiday he'd made a point of getting home early on days her mother was out. There had been no warning - and despite how rough and unsavoury he'd looked, no leering. She'd arrived from school on the Friday and spent an innocuous weekend in his presence. So it had been a shock, on the Monday, when he'd turfed her sisters out of their shared room and forced himself on her. That holiday had gone on forever as he'd persistently raped her. If she hadn't been in the room he'd gone looking for her and dragged her home. He'd threatened to throw them all out on the street if she ever said anything to her mother or anyone else.
    Sitting in her chair she pulled her knees up to her chest in defence of her body. Silent tears streamed down her face as the memories felt all too real. She covered her ears with her hands as if that could stop her from remembering the lewd, disgusting comments he'd made as his big hands had held her down and mauled her. When she'd struggled and kicked against him, he'd hit her. To shut