Free 1 Picking Lemons by J.T. Toman Page A

and focusing entirely on the storm overhead, would it have killed the founding fathers to settle in Hawaii first? Then, maybe Eaton University would have been founded there.
    *****
    Mary Beth loved lunchtime. She was always ready to leave the confines of the office. She loved to visit the different lunch spots around campus and read Cosmo and People and Us Weekly . Mary Beth reveled in celebrity gossip, especially the break ups, and took careful note of the hairstyle tips and beauty advice. She knew you couldn’t let yourself go, and, with that in mind, Mary Beth decided that the current Mourning Manicure had run its course. She would need a Funeral Manicure before tonight, even if it meant using an Elm Grove manicurist.
    Today , Mary Beth was heading to Zoe’s. The deli was one of her favorite places in town. Delicious food, but not too fattening. No rich husband was going to want a chubby wife.
    Leaving the office, Mary Beth was stopped by a strong wind. She did a quick outfit check. Did she have a coat in the office cute enough to wear to lunch? Deciding she didn’t, and it was better to freeze and look cute rather than be warm and ugly, Mary Beth continued down the street.
    Mary Beth spotted Professor Whitmore walking towards her. Now, that woman was unmarried for a reason. Didn’t she own a mirror? What was she thinking with those pink cowboy boots and loud spangled cowgirl shirts and skirts? Underneath the fashion accident that was her wardrobe, there was a relatively attractive woman. Mary Beth had considered sending in C.J.’s name to Extreme Makeover . But people can be so sensitive, even when you are doing them a huge favor.
    “Hey , Mary Beth,” called C.J. loudly. It seemed to Mary Beth that C.J. did everything loudly––another reason she would not get a husband. Cosmo was very clear. Demure and soothing would win the day. Well, it was probably just as well that C.J. was loud and ugly. Less competition for Mary Beth.
    Mary Beth responded to C.J. with a large, toothy smile, somewhat like a cat spotting a tasty mouse. S he had wanted to talk with C.J. and get her take on the events of the last few days. This was the perfect opportunity, out of the office and the big ears that lurked around every turn. “Hey, Professor Whitmore,” said Mary Beth, in her most welcoming tone. “What a fabulous shirt. I love that color….magenta is it? Are you grabbing some lunch?”
    “Oh no. I just had coffee with a friend. I’m heading back to work.”
    “Darn. I’m running out to Zoe’s. Have you checked it out?”
    C.J. co nfessed that she didn’t know Zoe’s, but the two women agreed that they would have lunch together there someday, while each of them knew this would never happen.
    “Hey, I’m like, um, still too scared to sleep because of Professor DeBeyer. Is it true? Was Professor Choi arrested?” Mary Beth asked, fishing for information. “Because, you know, I saw him walking into town when I was at lunch on Monday. It’s like, too freaky that we’ve been risking our lives working with a serial killer.”
    C.J., as she liked to say herself, was not new to the barn. She inwardly rolled her eyes at Mary Beth’s supposed fright. The young woman standing before C.J. looked very well-rested. “I can say with certainty that your life has not been in danger from a serial killer, at least not yet,” C.J. said dryly, though at the same time wondering why not and thinking it wouldn’t bother her if the real killer wanted to elevate himself to the status of serial killing if it meant he would kill Mary Beth. Wasn’t there someone in the world who was sufficiently annoyed with this walking manicure to do her in?
    “Well, you never know. I knew Professor Choi was a murderer, even before he killed Professor DeBeyer.”
    C.J. just raised her eyebrows.
    “You know, he like, had that murderous look.”
    C.J. wondered if the murderous look Mary Beth was referring to was the fact that Stephen was Asian and,