whisper but Ryan knew what he meant. He was feeling the same thing. He didn’t think it was a sexual attraction but he was drawn to Zach and wanted to be around him. Could it mean something more?
“I don’t want to lead you on. I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing here but I think it’s only fair to repeat that I’m not gay. I really like hanging out with you. And I think I understand the attraction you’re talking about but I didn’t come here for anything more than to just hang out. I hope that’s okay.”
“I’m not going to push you but I think you are lying to yourself.” Zach got up from the table and grabbed the last two beers from the fridge. He motioned for Ryan to follow him to the couch. Ryan was nervous but still curious enough to follow him. They went to the opposite side of the couch from where they were studying earlier, each taking a side of a corner so there was at least enough space between them for a third person to sit. Ryan felt that was a safe distance to not be tempting but to not be rude, either.
“What makes you think I’m lying?” He tried to keep the defensive edge out of his voice without sounding whiny. His brain was telling him to just pack up his shit and get the hell out of there. He didn’t need a tutor that badly. But, the rest of him wanted to play it out and see what Zach was actually suggesting. Maybe he was just looking for a buddy too and this was his way of separating the friends from the lovers? Ryan really had no idea what was going on.
“I think that if you were really against it, you would have left a long time ago. Or, that you wouldn’t have shown up for dinner at all.” He was speaking quietly and calmly while Ryan fidgeted with his bottle. Zach scooted a few inches closer to the inside corner of the sectional and his left knee lightly grazed Ryan’s right knee. Ryan’s head popped up and he got caught in Zach’s stare. Again. “And, I think that you want me to make a move. You know that I want to touch you and you’re just debating how far you’ll let me go before your head takes over.”