Free The Evil Wizard Smallbone by Delia Sherman

own mind about how reciting, “Bow-Wowzer Meowzer, Bow-Wowzer Meowzer! Fly, bad spirits, fly!”— with or without throwing salt around — was going to protect him. But he had no doubt it had done something. The air felt thick and a little prickly, like just before a thunderstorm. There was that smell, too, like hot metal, that he was beginning to recognize as the smell of magic. For a moment, Nick thought he might pass out or throw up. Then there was a kind of
snap
, and everything went back to normal. Except Nick knew, absolutely and without doubt, that Smallbone couldn’t come in to spy on him or turn him into something creepy while he was asleep. Smallbone couldn’t come in at all.
    Nick smiled. And then he laughed. And then he whooped out loud.
    He opened the book again. Maybe he could find something that would help him get away. Maybe he could break the confusion spell on the yard or fly over it or —
    You’re a young wizard. Remember, you need to learn to walk before you can run, and patience is a virtue .
    Patience is a virtue! Nick couldn’t believe it. Why did everybody have to lecture him all the time and tell him what to do? He wanted to be a wizard, not a Sunday-school teacher! He slammed
E-Z Spelz
closed, threw it under the bed, and ran out of his room. Suddenly, it was too small and the house was too big and he had to get out and go somewhere or he’d burst.
    He pulled on a jacket and headed for the barn, which was warm and shadowy and full of the small noises contented animals make. Nick petted Groucho, stamped at the chickens to watch them run, and threw Ollie’s ball in his water trough. Ollie got it out, splashing water everywhere, and rootled it through the straw, his tail whirling happily. Somehow, it wasn’t as funny as usual, especially since Nick didn’t know the spell to float the ball back and Smallbone would be mad if he didn’t find it in its bucket.
    Nick climbed over the rails, and Ollie looked at him. His tail was still twirling, but without the fence between them, the pig looked very big — even bigger when he turned and took a step forward. Nick backpedaled, slipped on a pile of something squishy, and landed flat on his back in the muck. Panicked, he kicked out at Ollie, who was coming to investigate.
    It was a solid kick, and it caught the pig on his sensitive snout. Ollie squealed like a whistle and scuttled to the back of the pen, where he stood with his hindquarters to Nick and panted anxiously.
    Nick picked himself up and climbed out. He hated everybody and everything in the world, but mostly he hated the way he smelled. An unpleasant session with some straw and a quick scrub under the pump got rid of the worst of it, but he was left with a dripping jacket and a damp butt and the uncomfortable feeling that he’d been a complete jerk. He liked Ollie. Like the goats, Ollie played with Nick. Unlike the goats, he didn’t make Nick feel like a birdbrain.
    He hung the jacket from a peg to dry, then sat on a bale of hay next to the pigpen with his back to the rails.
    He was wondering how you apologized to a pig when he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder and a rubbery snout snuffled at his neck.
    After supper, when Smallbone was at the barn, Nick fished
E-Z Spelz
out from under the bed and opened it, prepared for another lecture on patience and control and maybe kindness to animals.
    Magic is dangerous. Which is why you need to learn to make a pentagram .

    A pentagram is a Little Wizard’s Best Friend. A pentagram helps you focus. Any spell you cast inside a pentagram will be stronger. If the spell is particularly dangerous, the pentagram will contain it. If you can’t have a senior wizard to help you with your spelz, you’d better have a pentagram handy .
    Ready?
    Nick found himself nodding.
    Good. You’ll need a yardstick. Also a piece of string with a thumbtack on one end to mark the center and chalk on the other to make the arms even. And when you’ve got a perfect one,