Free A Summer To Remember (Seasons of Love & Lust Book 1) by Selene Chardou Page A

stood and turned to face him. “If I find some great guy then I have to go through my humiliating past and I don’t want to have to do that. I guess I could lie, and eventually maybe he would get the hint and suggest surrogacy, but I don’t want another woman having my biological children, Paul.
    “If the situation comes down to that I would rather adopt and I can do that on my own. I would be another Charlize Theron, Sandra Bullock, or Michelle Pfeiffer. There are plenty of neglected children right here in the good ole U.S. of A. and they are just begging for a good home. When the time comes, I’ll want a child and I don’t care what color he or she is…I will just want to protect them and love them and I won’t do a wait list.
    “Most men aren’t that open minded. They would want to do surrogacy so we could have a child of our own and I have faced the possibility I might be on my own for the rest of my life. That’s okay with me. I know you think I am just talking crap but I have been through a lot and I’m not willing to compromise for anyone. Not even for you.”
    Paul stood and placed his arms around my waist. Now he had the height advantage and he looked down at me. “Who said anything about compromising, Jerrica? I love you for you and yes, children are great, but they don’t have to be biologically ours to be ours. If you want a Rainbow Coalition of children then fine, I’ll turn into Brad Pitt and we can adopt a child from here and one from Mexico and one from Cambodia. It doesn’t matter to me because I want you.”
    I began to sob and before I could stop myself, his shirt was drenched in my tears. “That is so sweet of you. You know how much I care about you, Paul, but what do you plan to do about Ashley?”
    He kissed my cheek this time. “I know you care about me, Jerri, and that’s sweet, really. But do you love me?”
    That wasn’t a hard question to answer. Of course I loved him. We’d been family friends for years and he was my brother’s best friend, so how could emotions not grow over time? However, I knew exactly what he meant. He wanted proof I loved him in more than just a “friendly family” way and that was true too. I couldn’t deny it.
    I was tired of lying to everyone and I was sick of deceiving myself. I wanted Paul so much, my heart ached. Yes, I did love him as more than just a friend. I loved him the way two people meet and develop feelings over time and fell in love. This would be the hardest decision I would probably ever have to make but I couldn’t not say what needed to be said.
    “I understand if you don’t, and your silence speaks volumes. Perhaps I have misjudged you all this time and you were just looking for yet another warm body for the night.”
    “Don’t say that, Paul. I love you…I always have. I have been in love with you for a long time, even while I was dating Kevin at Vassar. I knew he wasn’t the one for me but I also knew what Jude would do to the both of us if we admitted our feelings for one another. I buried mine so deep I didn’t think I would ever find them. They came out in Southampton, and every time I see you with Ashley. I don’t want you to be with her but at the same time, is it really my place to make you choose?”
    “It’s not about what’s fair or right, Jerrica, it’s about feeling and emotions, neither of which we can control at this time in our lives. I love you so much, it hurts sometimes and I am willing to deal with Jude, but I have to know you’ll back me one hundred percent.”
    I kissed his lips. “You know I will.”

 
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Chapter Nine
     
     
    July
     
    New York City & Martha’s Vineyard
     
    “I spoke to Autumn and Savannah today and we all want to go to Martha’s Vineyard this weekend. We don’t have to rent a place because it is all taken care of and I heard where we’re staying is the bomb. Do you feel like tagging along?”
    I pretended to be busy with invoices but all this