Free Vagina Insanity by Niranjan Jha

times. After a month, she started telling me all her
personal problems. The fist was that she was being sexually
molested by her cousin. The situation was very problematic to her
but she never gave me a clear picture of her family members but
always said that they were well-to-do in Kerala. She told that her
maternal cousin was staying in the USA who wanted to take her
there.
     
    A mystified image created by her was quite enough to
trap an innocent mind. An illusion that she created and the lies
she pretending-to-be-honest said, made me a little doubtful of her.
But, having no choice, I had to show that I believed her because my
doubt wasn’t taking me anywhere. I had to accept the reality that
she was a figure among cipher. She belonged to Kattapana, Idduki
district of Kerala.
     
    I learnt from her a lot about Christianity and
studied the Bible as well. My belief for Christianity increased
because the people of Hinduism and Islam had given a great wound to
my heart. The thing that had happened in my past could have never
happened if I were a Christian. You will never hear a gun-marriage
happening in Christianity, and no Christian man ever goes to behead
his daughter’s lover.
     
    I was finalizing my thought of living life with her
because loneliness was ready to grind me into sands.
     
    Success also hurts when you don’t have a loved one to
wish you, and failure also looks beautiful when you have a loved
one to support you. When the clouds of sorrow gather over us, we
see nothing beyond them, nor can imagine how they can be dispelled;
yet a new day succeeds to the night. I was in the adverse need of a
support.
     
    “Till you understand the new trick of the world, the
world learns another.”
     
     

Chapter Seventeen
    “The biggest fundamental of life is that there is no
fundamental of it.”
     
    The most difficult phase of life is not when no one
understands you; it is when you do not understand yourself. The
best revenge is just moving on and getting over it. Don’t give
someone the satisfaction of watching you suffer. You cannot dream
yourself into a character: you must hammer and forge yourself into
one.
     
    She continued teaching in the institute and her
effort started giving commercial support to my stand. Four months
passed and there came a day when she came to me crying bitterly.
She told me that her brother, who was studying as a novitiate to
become a Catholic priest, was killed by an acquainted person in
Utter Pradesh, North India. At that point of time I wanted to
contact her parents but she did not let me. She left for Kerala on
the same day and after fifteen days came back and got into the
continuation of the job. I could never know the exact reason of his
brother’s death. According to what she said, the man who killed
him, wanted to establish a homosexual relation with him, during
which the fight occurred, and he was killed.
     
    When she came back, I insisted her to let me talk to
her parents, but she stopped me again giving some lame excuses. She
said that her parents would talk to me only after I marry her. It
was a catch-22 for me. She bound me with a reason that her parents
did not know Hindi or English at all. Though her mother was from
Hindi speaking state, yet she did not speak the language because
she had spent twenty years of her depressed life in Kerala, so she
had forgotten the language. It was surprising but I had to
believe!
     
    Seeing the situation dubious, I asked her to show the
educational certificates. At that time she fought with me like a
mad woman. Many a times she pretended to commit suicide also. I was
caught up in a dilemma about getting married to her. On the one
hand, her brother had passed away and she was the only member to
feed her family, but on the other, she was proving herself mentally
disheveled.
     
    There are two ways to constructing a piece of
software: one is to make it so simple that there are obviously no
errors, and the other is to make it so complicated