Free Size Matters by Stephanie Haefner Page A

shut before continuing. “I’m lonely. I want to find someone to spend my life with. Would you really rather me be alone and miserable for the rest of my life?”
    “You’re not alone. You have the kids. That should be enough for you.”
    “I love my kids, but it’s not the same and you know it.”
    “You made a commitment to your husband and you need to honor that.”
    “Yeah, Mom, I did. But he’s gone. ‘Till death do us part.’ Remember that from our vows?” Bryn tried to hold back her tears. “He died. But I didn’t. I miss him every damn day, but I deserve to find happiness again. So will you watch my kids for me so I can try to do that, or not?”
    Her mother shook her head. “It’s just not right.”
    “Forget it,” Bryn said, and turned toward the door. “I’ll pay some neighborhood kid to babysit.”
    “Bryn . . .”
    She ignored her and just kept walking, wiping her eyes with her hands.
    “It’s what’s best for you and the kids.”
    Her mother had no fucking clue what was best for them. She would never understand what Bryn was going through. What the kids were going through. They missed having a man in their lives just as much as she did. Regardless of what her mother said, only Bryn knew what was best for her and the kids.
    FINALLY, KIDS asleep, Bryn had some silence to enjoy. It had been a long, stressful day and she was so ready to curl up with her book and a glass of wine. Just as she got into the sex scene between Roberto and Carmelita, her cell phone buzzed. A text from Eli.
    Hey. Can we talk? Want to explain about last night.
    She didn’t want to talk to him. Or anyone. She wanted to get lost in her book and maybe get a little drunk.
    It’s fine. No need to explain. Good night.
    But apparently he didn’t get the hint that she wanted to be left alone.
    I’m really sorry. I just wasn’t into it. Can I still take you out to dinner? Make up for it with tiramisu?
    A clean break was a must. She had to end it. Texting it was such a faux pas, but she just wanted it over with.
    I don’t think so. It’s best if we just end this and move on.
    He replied within seconds.
    Why? I thought we were good together.
    What was she supposed to say? She couldn’t tell him his penis insecurities were freaking her out.
    We were. But I have a lot going on and I just can’t be with you. I’m sorry.
    There. It wasn’t a lie. But of course it wasn’t good enough for Eli.
    I just don’t get it. We had fun yesterday. Why all of a sudden did things change?
    Why wouldn’t he just leave her alone?
    It wasn’t all of a sudden. Please respect my decision.
    She hated to sound nasty, but she needed to move on. And he needed to move on, too. Bryn set the phone down on the bed next to her, hoping she could finally get some peace. She guzzled her wine and went back to her book.
    Things were getting pretty steamy between Roberto and Carmelita. He caressed her body, kissing every inch of her naked flesh. Bryn’s body buzzed with desire. It sucked to not have a man during times like these. But at least she had her toys to keep her company. She selected one from her collection and got comfy. But it sure as hell wasn’t the same as having a man in bed with her. Someone to hold, someone to kiss. All of a sudden, her favorite vibrator didn’t seem so fabulous anymore. An orgasm with someone else would be far better than experiencing one alone. If anything, Eli had shown her she was more than ready to get on with her life and find someone to share her bed with.
    She was determined to find a man who was perfect for her, or at least as close to perfection as possible, since Johnny was gone. He had to be out there somewhere.
    FUCK. ELI wanted to throw his phone across the room. Bryn had asked him to respect her decision. Replying would just make him seem like an even bigger asshole. What the hell had happened to make her pull away?
    He knew what happened. Everything had been perfect until he freaked out when Zach