Free THROTTLE: (A Stepbrother Romance) by Holly Stone Page B

pour over them as she had each
letter he’d sent, but she was scared.   When he hadn’t replied to her last letter to confirm his release time she
was worried.   She’d read through his
letters again and noticed that in all the years he’d been incarcerated, he’d
never promised her anything.   Sure, he’d
said that he missed her, that he was thinking of her, that her letters kept him
going and other more fevered things that kept her awake at night.   But he’d never made plans to come back to
her.  
    And
with every hour that passed since he was set free her dread had increased.   What if Jared didn’t want her?   She’d be devastated, but she’d
understand.   He’d witnessed something
terrible that night, something that he might never be able to look past.   If Emma was thankful for anything in her life
it was that her memories were patchy because of the drugs.   Jared’s wouldn’t be, though.   There was nothing he could do to erase what had
happened from his mind, and the guilt she felt for it all was something she’d
been pushing down inside herself since the judge handed out Jared’s
sentence.  
    Emma
closed the front door and perched on the edge of the chair in her hallway,
holding the note gingerly as though it were an unexploded bomb.   The clock ticked away minutes while she
worked up the courage to open it, finally accepting that knowing was better
than remaining in limbo.   With a deep
breath, she flipped it open and read quickly.
    Emma,
    I’ve been out for a week
now, wanting to come and see you but not being able to find the courage to do
it.   I keep thinking about you and I can’t
get past knowing that I’m not good enough for you anymore.   You deserve a man who isn’t going to have a
mark against him for the rest of his life, who isn’t going to struggle to put a
roof over his family’s head.   I should
have told you to find someone else a long time ago, someone more worthy of you,
but I couldn’t.   I needed you while I was
in there, I was selfish and I’m sorry for that.  
    I want you to know that I
don’t regret a thing.   Not one day has
gone past since that night that I’ve wished I’d acted differently.   If I were faced with it again, I’d do the same
thing.  
    I love you Emma, too much
to come to you and be with you like I know you want.
    You’ll find someone else,
someone who can be everything that you deserve.   I’m sorry that life hasn’t been easier on us and that our chance was
taken.   I’ll always love you Emma, but I
know this is for the best.
    Jared x
    By
the end of his note, Emma’s tears were dripping onto her jeans, leaving
dark-blue blotches of sadness.   The sense
of loss and disappointment was terrible.   Even though she’d been fearful that he’d do this, there had been a huge
ball of hope insider her, too.   But worse
still was the realization that he was trying to do the right thing again, to
sacrifice yet more of himself for her happiness.   Imagining him writing that note, pushing down
the love he felt to suggest she try to meet someone better than him was too
much for her to bear.
    She wasn’t going to let him do this.   She didn’t want anyone else.   Why couldn’t he understand that?   Emma rested the note on the little table next
to her and swiped at her eyes.   Jared
might think this was his decision to make, but she was going to make damn sure
he heard her out.   He’d already given up
more for her than any man should have to in a lifetime.   Now it was her turn to show him how that
she’d fight for the man she loved.

 
    4

 
 
    Jared
sat propped up by pillows on the bed in Seth’s spare room.   His best friend had insisted he stay there
while he was on parole, and although being in the same town as Emma was going
to make things more difficult, he’d needed a place so he could get back on his
feet.
    He
flicked through the music on his phone, unable to decide on a track that
wouldn’t be too