Free Just Grace and the Double Surprise by Charise Mericle Harper Page B

this it usually means they have been talking about you.
    "What are you talking about?" I asked. I knew they would probably not really tell me. "We were talking about you," said Mom. I was 100 percent surprised. That was not the answer I was expecting. Normally Mom makes up something boring so she thinks I won't guess it was about me. Something like, "We were discussing how the toilet paper rolls seem to have gotten smaller," or "Your father was telling me about the exciting new W611 form he had to fill out for work." Basically the kind of stuff I would never in a million years care about. This telling the truth was something I was not ready for. Maybe I was about to get in trouble. This got my brain thinking:
What could it be? What did I do wrong?
    WHAT YOU CAN DO IF YOU ARE ABOUT TO GET INTO TROUBLE
    Before your mom or dad can even say one word about anything, start apologizing—they seem to get less mad if the "I'm sorry" part comes before the "We are so angry with you" part. I picked the first bad thing I could think of and said, "I'm really sorry. I know you bought me that new purple shirt, but the arms were too tight and it didn't look good. I tried to wear it—really I did. Even Mimi thought it was kind of ugly. I'm sorry. I'll never throw a shirt away again. I promise." That was a lot to say and I was hoping it was working, but I couldn't really tell because I was looking at the floor. If you do something bad you should always look at the floor—it makes you look sadder and more filled with sorry feelings.
    "You threw away your new purple shirt?" Mom sounded surprised. This was not good. Now I had apologized for something they didn't even know about yet. Mistake apologies are the worst!

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    HOW TV SAVED MY LIFE
    Mom was not happy. I could tell because she was making her I-don't-like-what-I'm-hearing face that makes her forehead all wrinkled. This face always comes with lots of questions. "What was wrong with it? I thought it was cute. Why didn't you say something before I cut the tags off?" She was sounding less surprised and more and more upset. I tried to explain, "I'm sorry. I thought I liked it, but then when I tried it on ..." I wanted to say, "...it looked super ugly," but I knew that would make things worse so I said, "it wasn't ... flattering." Most eight-year-olds probably wouldn't know that word, but I learned it from TV It's a nice way to say your outfit looks horrible. Mom and I sometimes watch
Dress Your Best
on TV and they use that word whenever someone looks bad in their outfit. It's a good word because it doesn't hurt people's feelings.
    THIS HURTS FEELINGS

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    THIS DOES NOT HURT FEELINGS
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    WHAT WAS AMAZING
    It worked! Mom smiled and shook her head and looked at Dad. Dad doesn't care about fashion. He'll pretty much wear anything Mom buys for him. He looked at us both and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I hope it's still in the garbage," said Mom. "Someone will be happy to have a perfectly good shirt. I'll wash it and we can donate it."
    "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, TV!" I said this inside my head so no one else could hear it. I was so happy. I didn't even wait for Mom to ask me to get the shirt. I ran straight outside to the garbage can. "I'll get it," I yelled back.
    Sometimes avoiding disaster can feel like a gift. You're worried and scared you'll get into trouble and then when it doesn't happen your insides suddenly feel brand new.
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    WHAT WAS LUCKY
    The ugly purple shirt was still in the garbage can.
    WHAT WAS UNLUCKY

    The ugly purple shirt was underneath some slimy paper towels, which I had to touch with my bare hands to get it out. YUCK!

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    WHAT I WAS THINKING NOW
    I really, really, really, really, really, hate you, purple shirt!

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    HOW I KNEW MOM WASN'T MAD ANYMORE

    After I dropped the shirt onto the laundry pile I went back to the kitchen, and there, on a plate in the middle of the table, were two snicker-doodle cookies. They didn't have my name on