Free Snowscape Trilogy by Jessie Lyn Pizanias

pull back from him and before I
could stop it I felt his guilt pour out of my mouth like an evil
oil slick of admission. “There was a trucker…. in Bowling Green.
You killed him didn’t you? There was an accident. He sideswiped you
and then there was a fight. You… and your brother? You killed him.”
I looked up at Ben and his grey face was contorted in anguish and
anger. Kayla looked to me and back to him. She saw my arm clasped
in his wrist. “You’d better go Ben.”
    He dropped my wrist suddenly and seemed about
to say something. I could see the emotion well up into his eyes.
Although, the facts were blurred to me I could feel his guilt
surround him. I could see what he saw that night. He had dreamt
about it every night since and I could fell the dark fog of his
dream self pull into me revealing the truth of the situation, but
found it marred with emotion. Understanding rushed over me with
such intensity I felt electricity run up and down my being. I did
not know what was true verses what was not, but I did know what Ben
perceived as being true. He had been there and although he had not
thrown the fatal blow, his brother had. And Ben’s hapless guilt had
wracked him so solidly he felt the need to escape away to become
someone else.
    Ben looked silently between the two of us.
The party had come to a silent halt behind me as others watched the
outburst grow. He grabbed his coat and walked out. Not before
saying to Kayla, “You’re friend is fucking crazy.” True. “I don’t
have a brother.” Lie.
    The door slammed shut and another song came
on the iPod shuffling in the background. Kayla gently grabbed my
arm and looked around without embarrassment.  I, on the other
hand, was burning up with it. “She’s just drunk. Come on Amy.” She
half dragged, half carried me to her bedroom when she realized it
didn’t seem like I could walk.
    After laying me on her bed, Kayla sat next to
me, silent for a moment. “I know you’re not drunk. You were so red
I needed to get you out of there and it was the first thing that
came into my head. Are you okay?” I didn’t answer. My eyes were
watering and the nausea was starting to pass. I sat up with every
intention of telling her that I was just drunk, and there was
nothing going on but as I sat up, and looked at Kayla I knew she
wouldn’t buy it. She knew I hadn’t had more than one drink and that
my emotional meltdown wasn’t drug induced either. I opened my mouth
to speak, but then shut it just as quickly and just looked at her.
I wasn’t much of a liar. “Amy, you don’t have to tell me what’s
going on, but if you want to chat I’m here. Ben gave off a bad vibe
anyway so I’ll make sure he stays out of your way for a while.” She
quickly left the room and within minutes I could hear her and her
guest laughing in the background.
    I lay on Kayla’s bed for a while and thought
about Ben. I saw what he saw, I felt his guilt, but I didn’t feel
evil. It was the first time I really tried to focus and pick up on
a person’s inner emotions so of course it had caught me off guard.
I thought about what Nathaniel had told me. ‘The power that I had
over people; knowing their desires, their needs, their guilt.’ I
wasn’t sure I wanted it, but the more practical side of me knew
that arguing with fate wasn’t really an option. I had learned that
lesson early on when my parents died. Wanting something didn’t
equivocate getting something.
    After staying my emotions I decided to rejoin
the living and the party, if nothing else than to assess the damage
I had done. The music had turned from new age to techno, as those
that were only slightly buzzed before now were drunken messes and
my earlier indiscretion had been quickly forgotten in the haze of
alcohol and weed. I grabbed a large glass of boxed red wine from
the kitchen and made my way onto the back patio to grab a
cigarette. Kayla was still inside and no one seemed to remember
that I was the girl who had just