Free The Celibate Mouse by Diana Hockley Page A

meltdown, but I had plenty of opportunity to make sure he knew I remained unfazed by his godlike presence.’
    ‘I’ve always known you to be so cool and collected, Mum. I can’t imagine you when you were young!’
    ‘Thanks a lot.’ In the latter stages of our marriage, I’d been a screaming, hysterical wreck, totally out of control. I’m grateful she is willing to listen. Perhaps she will understand after all.
    ‘So how did you get together?’
    ‘My aloofness intrigued him. He finally realised I wasn’t grovelling at his God-like feet. He started hanging around–casually, of course–while I worked at the front counter in the station, and then began parking his car close to mine. He’d poke around under the bonnet of his car until I came out and allowed him to engage me in conversation.’ It’s so easy to remember the good bits.
    ‘My girlfriends kept telling me he’d lose interest if I didn’t sleep with him and find somebody else, but for once, I stood by my mother’s advice. ‘If he swans off just because you’re not ‘easy,’ he’s no use to you anyway, my girl. He’s just as likely to go off after somebody else at the drop of a hat, and more fool them.’
    Marli’s eyes are like an owls. I’ve never spoken so candidly about my teenage years, but she’s old enough now to know her mother is a human being. I wonder if David remembers the first time we went to bed together, something no one else needs to know about. Don’t go there, you sex-starved crone...
    ‘So where did you get married?’
    ‘We married in the registry office on a sunny autumn day and had our reception in a local Chinese restaurant. Our honeymoon consisted of two days on Tangalooma Island.’ I don’t allow myself to remember that time.
    ‘Mum? Earth to muuuuuuum!’
    ‘Er–’
    ‘Mum, you’re actually smiling. You don’t do that much now.’
    Stunned, I realise she’s right. Our wedding photos are in storage. I would have to take them out to show the girls. It was debatable whether Brit would want to see them.
    ‘We were happy when you came,’ I tell Marli. Oh, you liar, Susan. But how can I explain how we really felt about my pregnancy? My memories threaten to overwhelm me.
    ‘So, when did you realise we were twins? ... Mum?’ Marli thumps my arm to keep me on track.
    ‘What? Oh, not for quite awhile. We lived in a one-bedroom furnished flat at the time. All we had were our clothes, linen, pots, pans, that sort of stuff, and a cat. So we needed to find a child-friendly landlord. The cat was more welcome in those days!’
    ‘So? Come on, what happened next?’
    She tucks her legs up under her and stares eagerly into my face. My heart sinks. David finally managed to settle down and accept that our plans to travel and have fun were side-tracked. He was coming around to the idea of fatherhood when the bombshell hit. Having to tell David we were expecting two babies took a lot of courage. ‘How are we going to cope with this?’ he’d yowled, white-faced. The news and birth of the twins was the beginning of the end of my marriage.
    ‘What do you want me to do? Have an abortion? Give one away? Cut one out of my stomach?’ I’d shrieked.
    ‘So, what happened after you told him we were twins?’ asks Marli.
    We didn’t speak for twenty-four hours. We’d been so careful not to touch each other. It’s not easy to hold a six-month pregnant ‘twin’ stomach in when you’re trying to squeeze past each other in a doorway. Lying at the edge of the mattress was difficult. Every time I went to the loo I had to roll out of bed. David always helped me, but he made no attempt that night. The standoff lasted until he left for work that day, after which I cried myself sick.
    ‘Oh well, we managed.’ In fact, an almighty row broke out over the cost of buying two of everything. David slammed out to storm up and down the nearby beach. I sat on the cover of the septic tank in the backyard clutching the cat and bawling