Free A Street Girl Named Desire: A Novel by Treasure E. Blue Page A

channel. Desire never requested to watch anything special, though Hattie Mae always took the time to ask. Desire had not grown up knowing that she had the power of choice, and Hattie Mae simply lether come to that realization in her own time. However, the peace and calm in the house slowly earned Hattie Mae a quiet respect from Desire. Desire did not know that this was the beginning of love.
    Months after she had arrived, Desire became comfortable enough to ask about her mother. One night, out of the blue, over a plate of spaghetti, Desire simply asked, “Is it true that I was born in the street and that you saved me and my mother from freezing to death?”
    Hattie Mae was speechless. She couldn't find the words to tell Desire the truth. She didn't know if she should lie or not. Furthermore, she was shocked that Desire even knew this information. But then Desire reached into her pocket and pulled out a wrinkled and yellowed newspaper article. She threw it on the table in the midst of their dinner. The headline read: “Mother, Fetus Near Frozen to Death on Harlem Streets.” She had found it earlier tucked inside one of the many Bibles Hattie Mae kept scattered throughout the house.
    Hattie Mae stared at the article, then took a long gulp of the sweet iced tea she had made for dinner. She did not have to read the article to know what it said. She had read the words many, many times, committed them to memory on the long nights she had had to pray herself out of worrying about Desire. Desire continued to glare at her, forcing Hattie Mae to finally speak.
    “Well, I guess it is 'bout time you learn your history, chile,” she said, rising to clear the table and rake their plates.
    “Is this my history?” Desire pleaded. “This where I came from? This how I was born?”
    Hattie Mae gripped the edge of the kitchen sink for thestrength she would need to explain the truth, and for the strength Desire would need to hear it.
    “Desire,” she began, “yo mama loved you very, very much. Yo mama was a good girl who got caught up in bad things. She was in a terrible predicament. She had the devil inside of her and he wasn't leaving.”
    She turned to find Desire's head bowed. She went back to the table and took Desire's face in her hands.
    “But that don't mean she didn't love you, chile,” Hattie Mae told Desire. “That don't mean she didn't care. She tried to keep you, but them drugs just had her too tight. She had to give you up. And she gave you up to me. And then when I wouldn't 'low her to keep on killin herself, she got mad at me for trying to do what was best for her 'cause she didn't think it was best. She had the state take you away from me, but she ain't do it to hurt you. She did it to hurt me. But don't none of that matter now, 'cause God is good. The Savior always gonna win in the end. It took him some time, but he got you back to where you need to be.”
    Everything in Desire wanted to be tough and strong. But this news was too much. How could her mother have really loved her if she had done the things that made Desire come into the world to nearly die in the freezing snow? How could her mother give her up if she had really wanted her? And how could her mother truly want her if she had torn her away from a good home and started the cycle of broken ones she had suffered through? She wanted to ask these questions of Hattie Mae, but couldn't find the words. She was blank as she tried to hold it together and soak in the news.
    “We just gotta pray for her, chile,” Hattie Mae continued. “Wegotta pray that she out there taking care of herself, that she gonna be all right, that one day she gonna wake up and realize what she losing now by being out in them streets. All that ain't got nothing to do with you. She gotta do that for herself.”
    Suddenly, Desire ran from the table. Hattie Mae was startled as Desire's chair toppled over. Seconds later, she heard Desire's door slam and loud music coming from the other