Free Miles to Go by Richard Paul Evans Page B

Is Painless.”
    My own recent contemplations about life and death rendered the segment uncomfortable. I glanced over at Angel to see if she thought it was funny. To my surprise, she was crying.
    Suddenly, I understood what was going on. How had I missed the obvious?

CHAPTER

Sixteen
    If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, I laid a pretty good stretch of asphalt today. I suppose I’ve done enough damage. It’s time for me to leave.
    Alan Christoffersen’s diary
    The classic signs of suicide were all there, as glaring as a Las Vegas casino sign. The expiration of her lease and cable, her quiet, abiding sadness, her outspoken hope for oblivion. The surrendering of her possessions, like the sapphire necklace she’d attempted to give to Norma at the hospital. Her intentions were obvious—what I didn’t know was
why
.
    As the production credits rolled up the screen at the end of the movie, Angel switched on the lamp and stood. “Ready for bed?”
    “I’d like to talk,” I said.
    The gravity of my tone was not lost on her. She looked at me nervously. “It’s kind of late.”
    “It’s important.”
    She looked at me for a moment, then sat down on the sofa. “Okay,” she said, knitting her fingers together. “What do you want to talk about?”
    I moved closer to her and put my hand on hers. “I’m not sure how to approach this, so I’ll just say what’s on my mind. First, I want you to know that I care about you deeply. I am very grateful for all you’ve done to help me.”
    “I care about you too,” she said, her brows knit with anxiety.
    “Clearly. You’ve been very good to me. I also know that something is very wrong.”
    “I know it seems that way, but everything’s fine,” she said. “Really. I’ve just been a little emotional lately.”
    “Angel, it’s more than that.” I looked into her eyes, then slowly breathed out. “I need you to be completely honest with me. Who is Nicole?”
    She looked at me incredulously. “I told you to stay out of my affairs,” she said sharply.
    “I can’t help you if you’re not honest with me. Does this Nicole have something to do with why you’re so sad?”
    “You have no idea what you’re asking.”
    “You’re right, I don’t. But I want to know. I want to help. I think that’s why we were led to each other.”
    Her expression turned fierce. “We weren’t
led
to each other. There is no fate. There is no God. There is only chaos and chance. You’re here because of coincidence.”
    “I’m here because I stopped to help you and you knew you could trust me.”
    She began to cry.
    “I know why you came back to Spokane,” I said.
    “Enlighten me,” she replied angrily. “Why did I come back?”
    “You came home to die.”
    She just stared at me for a moment then stood. “Stop it.”
    “Angel—”
    “Leave me alone.”
    “No,” I said.
    “I made a mistake coming for you,” she shouted.
    “You found exactly what you were looking for.”
    “And what was that?”
    “Hope,” I said.
    She was quiet for a moment, then said, “What I do with my life is my business and mine alone.” She stormed off, stopping in the threshold of her room. “And don’t talk to me about hope. There is no hope. The only hope is oblivion.” She slammed the door behind her.
    From the couch I could hear her crying. I walked over to her door, then pressed my forehead against it.
    “I really do care, Angel.”
    “No one cares. Go away.”
    “You’re wrong.”
    “Go away, please.”
    I went to my room and lay on top of the covers. It was more than an hour before I fell asleep.

    Angel didn’t speak to me for the next three days. She came home late each night and went straight to her room. I tried to get her to talk to me, but all my attempts were met with hostility. I feared every day for her. Most of all, I feared she might hurt herself. I had failed in my quest to help her. I had more than failed—I felt like I had pushed her closer to the