disapproves of sandy beaches, with their turning tide of tanned fleshââlike a roasted chicken on a spit,â she says. A pebble-filled clamshell at the foot of an aqueduct, this beach has pretensions, is within a hollering distance of culture. People read on it, quote Latin on it. Noémie hates it. She throws open the door with a disgusted sigh and steps out. I un-peel my bare thigh from Freddieâs and head out after her, standing for a dazed moment in the pure midmorning light to taste the salt air and let the heat drench me in a new slick of sweat.
Mme B fusses around happily, singing under her breath, flapping the beach towels out in a neat square of faded tropical colors, laying out her picnic of crackers and homemade pâté and cold 7UP and petits fours. When she unfolds her deck chair, a paperback falls out.
She picks it up, smiling fondly. âHave you read this, Quinn?â
I shrug. âWhat is it?â
âIt is a romance novel by my dear friend Stella, racy in places,â she says with a giggle. âItâs written so simply, though. It is not so interesting. I could lend it to you later if you want to practice your French comprehension?â She hands me the book.
I look at the illustration on the well-thumbed cover: a kneeling woman, naked save for a choke collar. âUm, my mom always said romance novels were the opium of the domestic slamhound, one of the tools of patriarchal subjugation. Iâm prettysure itâs one of the few issues my parents agreed on, so, um, no thanks.â
Frowning, Ãmilie strips off her floral halter dress, revealing a pink one-piece. âYou know, Quinn, I may be in my forties, but I still get looks from guys, very young men sometimes, younger than Raphael. Probably more than you do, in actuality. Ah, what a beautiful day at the beach with my babies!â Smiling, she settles into her deck chair and puts the book over her face.
Okay, well . . . awkward. Her kids seem to think so, too. In order to avoid the moment, Freddie and Raphael break the volleyball out and start punting it around. Noémie, having basted every inch of herself, lies facedown to roast where no familial eye contact can harm her. In the midst of everything, I am alone, like Camus or something. I find myself missing Mom, who couldnât have been more different from Ãmilie.
When I was little, Mom was always aiming her old Leica at me, calling me into the under-stairs cupboard sheâd fitted with two big Belfast sinks for developing photos to watch ghostly reflections of myself appear under the flicker of red lights. Or sheâd be baking bread, her hands callused with drying dough. When I hugged her, sheâd smell of garlic and thyme from the garden and her long hair and fragile features reminded me of the pictures of Joni Mitchell on the vinyl albums she always played. Dad wasnât there much and I didnât like it when he was. He made fun of her photographs, her cooking, never letting her forget he was the important one. I know she wanted to get back to selling her art, maybe after I went to college.
I wish I could have a final memory of her happy at the opening of her very own exhibition instead of the one I do have: my dadâs book launch, the glasses of champagne clinking, the New England literati circulating. Mom in the corner with bandaged wrists, avoiding talking to any of Dadâs guests because heâd already made her feel ashamed of what sheâd tried to do.
My nostalgia soured, I snap back to the present. Freddieâs phone is lying on the towel right next to my hand. I pick it up, all sleight of hand. I mean, wouldnât you look? Come on. Be honest. Itâs a fucking BlackBerry. God, I hate those things. No password, though. I look at his apps. Snapchat? Bingo! Username? Hmm, Lapinchaude . Well, that could still come up as âunknownâ if he hid it somehow, some clever little hack. I have that feeling