Free Sinners Circle by Karina Sims Page A

plastic laundry basket with water, I put the cat in it, and held the lid shut until the bucket stopped shaking. I
broke into my neighbor’s house and stole his pornography. I beat a rabbit to
death with a hammer and pushed pencils up our other neighbor’s dog’s ass. I lit
the garage on fire and kicked a two year old in the back at the supermarket
when no one was looking. And I never got caught or blamed for any of this
stuff. I could literally break a cats front legs and everyone would say, “ Aww , there’s that girl we saw in her pajamas crying on the
news about her deadbeat murdered mother.” When Gina would eat me out, I would
pull the sides of her hair hard enough until her little deaf screams came out
in high whistles. She’d spend all day hiding away from me, crying and saying
she was sorry and she loved me. She’d hug me and wave her arms around saying,
“Don’t you love me anymore?” I didn’t even use my hands to tell her I couldn’t
feel anything with her anymore, I walked into her until she was against the
wall and our faces where too close for her to read my lips. I told her I didn’t
want to fuck her if I couldn’t put my fist in her. She went away crying, coming
back, her hands flailing around, telling me she was trying to get herself to
open enough. She never could and the last night I was there, I snuck over to
her bed while she was asleep, put all my weight on her chest and fisted her
until the sides of her pillow were soaked with tears, her lips shredded from
biting down so hard.
    The next morning, that same
sleepy social worker came over and asked Debbie for coffee and then she drove
me to Marcy’s house. The house my dad owned and left to the commune at his
passing. They in turn gave it to Marcy, this house, the one I live in now,
sixteen years later.

XIII
    Around
eleven I’ve finished my coffee, I’m scratching my crotch and thinking about
wandering over to Alison’s and getting another cup if some jerk off doesn’t
come in here in the next five minutes. Harry’s in his
office, door wide open, chatting on the phone, his voice getting real loud
every time it’s his turn to speak. He’s talking about road trips and Chlamydia.
From way up here at the front of the store I can hear him tell the telephone he
pulled crabs out of his pubes and was scared at first that one had scuttled
down his pee hole.
    I toss the empty cup into the
trash, stand and dig around the counter
for the ‘back in five minutes’ sign as soon as he shouts, “...sorry sweetie,
I’m all out of lube so this might sting a little.” His feet
clapping the cement flooring of his office.
    I can only imagine the kind of
guy on the other end of the line, I mean what kind of
weirdo talks this long to another man on the telephone? Let alone the subject matter,
such senseless banter as this. So, I get up to get coffee and ditch for a few
when Lilly comes limping through the door, her eyes all swollen up, lip split,
she’s got an arm wrapped around her ribs. Her shirt torn from
collar to midriff, scratched knees weak and shaking in broken heels. “Amanda...”
    I barely catch her before she
collapses forward, “Lilly... what happened?”
    Before she can speak she just
comes apart, crying and writhing in my arms, feet scraping the carpet. “They
jumped me, I got out of the car and...” I can tell the
way her wrist is twisted when she goes to wipe the snot from her nose that her
radius and ulna are fractured if not completely broken. “...two guys in the
fucking back, they were just watching me and him in the front… fuckers got me
in the alley. The car, the guy in the car just drove away. I think...”
    Harry’s laughing in the back, banging
his feet on the floor, his voice getting hoarse, “...she misses that rough cock
in her, semen dripping out of her, underwear pulled down to her ankles! Ask
her!”
    I pick Lilly up, push the door
open and carry her to Alison’s work. Trisha is flipping through the