Free We Awaken by Calista Lynne Page A

never felt the need to do, actually.”
    She was staring at me pointedly, not even trying to disguise what she was talking about.
    “Right,” I sighed, “I’ll say it. I don’t get this whole asexuality thing, and I’m absolutely petrified because a lot of what I’ve found out about it seems to apply to me.”
    “Like?” she asked when it became obvious I wouldn’t continue talking without coercion.
    “Cuddling without sex. Intimacy without, ya know, orgasms. That all sounds really great. I mean, I’ve never looked at someone and thought ‘Wow that’s a person I want to do the deed with’ like everyone else seems to. I’d fake it in front of Ellie and all that and just assume I’d grow to like it one day, or that I was just a freak. And now apparently it’s actually a sexuality. But….” I trailed off as Ashlinn nodded for me to continue. “Everyone else goes on about how great all that is, the kissing and the humping and all that jazz. How do I know I’m not missing out? That maybe I actually would like it? It’s gotta be pretty great for so much of everyone’s lives to revolve around the pursuit of sex.”
    “That’s something you’re going to have to find out yourself. You can still do those things and be asexual. It’s the lack of sexual attraction, not celibacy. I’m actually fond of kissing as long as the other person’s tongue doesn’t find its way into my mouth. It feels nice.”
    I tried not to be jealous, but there was a spark of resentment over who she had been locking lips with in the past, even if I had no reason.
    “Why did you kiss these people if you weren’t sexually attracted to them?”
    She winked at me. “Curiosity. And also because being a maker of good dreams has caused me to create my fair share of sex scenes. Honestly, though, I see it as more romantic than anything.”
    I screwed up my courage and looked her in the eyes.
    “Would you kiss me?”
    She refused to lose my gaze and didn’t even pause, but set her teacup down on the table. “Depends why you want me to.”
    I could have said it was because she was the most marvelous person I had ever met and I wanted to share this with her, that I didn’t think this was what I wanted, but she was someone I felt safe figuring that out with.
    Instead I just said, “Curiosity.” I felt like an idiot, and an uncomfortable one at that.
    Still, she got out of her chair and walked over to where I sat. She cupped my face in her hands and looked into my eyes, assessing and, seemingly content with what she found there, knelt down and tilted my face toward her. Then we kissed.
    The second her lips met mine a million dreams began to flicker before my still-open eyes. Futures I wanted us to have swirled through my brain as we stayed locked together. It was a short kiss, and rather chaste. When she pulled back, I didn’t know what to think.
    Actually, I did. I just didn’t want to accept it.
    Because that was something I never wanted to do again.
    “Okay, I may have never been kissed before, but I’m pretty sure something about that wasn’t natural. I saw visions.”
    She bit her lip. “I figured that might happen. I should have warned you. I am an embodiment of dreaming, so some of that seeped into you in our connection. Tell me the truth, though, did you like it? I’m not gonna be offended either way. I can deal with a life without kisses.”
    I toyed with the idea of lying to her. She said kissing was enjoyable for her, but the sincerity in those eyes as she knelt before me compelled me to be honest.
    Also the fact that she implied she wanted a life with me.
    “I’m not sure I ever need to do it again. It wasn’t bad, just not really my cup of tea.” And that was the truth. I’d had my first kiss, but it just seemed to be there , a memory holding weight, but more uncomfortable than enjoyable.
    She grinned at my answer, obviously thrilled that I was being honest.
    “We don’t have to do that again. I hope it was