Free With or Without You by Helen Warner Page B

some sad old whore. And while we’re on the subject, I don’t think much of your taste. You make me sick to my stomach,’ she spat. ‘Quite literally.’
    Jamie leaned his head on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. After a few moments, Martha spoke again.
    ‘Right, I’ll see the kids off to school, shall I? I don’t think you’re in any fit state. I don’t want them seeing you like this.’
    ‘No!’ Jamie sobbed, trying desperately to recover his emotions. ‘I always see them off, they’ll think it’s odd if I don’t.’
    ‘Well bloody well pull yourself together then!’ snapped Martha, standing up and heading for the door.
    ‘Don’t go!’ he cried, gripping her ankle. Her perfect, slender ankle. ‘Don’t leave me!’
    Martha looked down at him contemptuously. ‘Oh don’t worry, I won’t leave you,’ she said, causing his heart to jump momentarily with hope. He looked up at her beseechingly
but her expression was set like concrete. ‘
You’re
the one who’ll be leaving.’ She shook her ankle free of his grip and walked out of the room, slamming the study
door shut behind her.
    For a few seconds Jamie thought he might pass out. He loved Martha and the children so much. The idea of losing them made him dizzy with fear. What the hell had he done?
    With an almighty effort, he lifted himself off the floor and slumped into his desk chair, his head in his shaking hands. He tried to get his thoughts into some kind of coherent order. He had to
get Martha to let him stay. He couldn’t lose her. It would kill him.
    When he had finally composed himself, he wiped the last vestiges of tears from his eyes and made his way out of the study. He glanced nervously towards Mimi’s room, where she was getting
dressed, apparently unaware of the turmoil that had erupted into the midst of her safe little world that morning.
    ‘Hey Dad,’ she grinned. ‘Poor Mum’s been hurling. Did you hear?’
    ‘I did.’ Jamie tried to smile but his mouth wouldn’t let him. ‘Anyway, gorgeous, get yourself dressed and brush your teeth, eh? And . . . I, er, dropped a glass in the
bathroom, so use the ensuite until I’ve had time to clear it up, OK?’
    ‘Aw . . . can’t Tom brush his first?’ Mimi whined, as she always did every morning.
    ‘Look, just bloody well do it, OK?’ Jamie snapped, causing Mimi’s big blue eyes to widen in astonishment.
    ‘Jeez, Dad, no need to get in such a strop!’ she shot back. She harrumphed a couple more times but finally clomped across the landing and began to brush her teeth.
    ‘Come on, Tommy boy,’ Jamie tried to keep his emotions from spilling over as he went into Tom’s bedroom, to be met with the sight of his son curled up on the bed, still in his
pyjamas, reading his latest
Horrible Histories
book. How long had he been there? Had he heard any of the awful exchange between him and Martha? Tom looked unconcerned so Jamie decided to
hope for the best. ‘You need to get dressed and brush your teeth too,’ he said, his voice catching.
    ‘OK, Dad,’ Tom closed his book and smiled up at Jamie in a way that made him want to cry for ever more.
    As the children finished getting ready, Jamie made his way downstairs and into the kitchen. Martha was standing at the French doors, clutching a cup of coffee and staring out over the garden
with a closed expression on her face. Jamie eyed her warily as he made his way over to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup. He took a sip and then replaced the cup on the work surface, all the
time watching Martha, who seemed to be standing as still as a statue.
    He moved towards her. ‘Don’t. Touch. Me,’ she hissed, as he was about to put his hand on her shoulder. He whipped his hand away as if he had been stung and stood awkwardly
behind her, unsure what to do next.
    To his relief, Mimi breezed into the kitchen. Almost immediately, she stopped dead in her tracks and looked at her parents curiously. ‘Everything OK?’ she asked,