your fault.’
‘If I hadn’t been suspended I would have been on
duty the other night,’ his eyes meet hers for an instant that give
her a mild electric shock, ‘and I wouldn’t have been anywhere near
the Grove.’
In other words, if three people hadn’t suffered
a violent death at an intersection she would have been raped, and
maybe even killed herself.
‘I’m sorry.’ He reaches for her hand. ‘I
shouldn’t have reminded you.’
His fingers are thicker and slightly rougher
than Jay’s, and she suddenly relives the moment when he thrust his
thumb between her lips.
‘Try not to think about it.’
She smiles. ‘I’m not thinking about that.’
‘What are you thinking about?’ He lets go of her
hand. ‘If you don’t mind my asking.’
‘I’m not thinking about anything.’
His tone is carefully neutral. ‘Or maybe you’re
thinking about the man who left a message on your answering
machine.’
‘Actually, I was thinking about breaking the
law, I mean about the whole concept of breaking the law. How do we
know which laws are somehow ultimate truths that have to be obeyed,
and which ones are just arbitrary rules society imposes on us to
maintain some abstract idea of what is acceptable and what
isn’t?’
‘Wow, a beautiful girl obsessed with law and
order, I think I’m in love. But seriously, Carmen, that’s a rather
broad question, and there aren’t any simple answers.’
Most of the cruise ships are in port, and it
always amazes her that the water in the narrow channel where they
dock is deep enough to hold them all. The brooding clouds are
dispersing, giving way to a coolly radiant November sunshine that
sparkles on the pearly water.
She rolls her window down all the way, mainly
because the roar of the wind will inhibit conversation and she is
afraid of saying too much. Another man is the last person who can
help her make sense of Thursday night. She takes deep breaths of
the ocean’s sharp, clean scent, and it immediately helps clear her
head of subtle moral cobwebs. ‘A long walk on the beach is just
what I need, Will. It looks like the day’s going to be perfect
now.’
‘It looks that way.’
She caresses windblown strands of hair out of
her eyes and smiles over at him.
Walking leisurely up Collins Avenue on South
Beach, they come across a photo shoot. Carmen dutifully pauses so
Will can admire the models, but he doesn’t seem interested. Even
though she suspects his indifference is calculated, it pleases her
nonetheless. She even allows herself the luxury of feeling sorry
for the glamorous skeletons; she imagines they have a hard time
finding a man they can look up to. She is very glad she’s only 5’6”
tall.
They continue walking hand in hand down the
narrow sidewalk on the beach side. People moving in the opposite
direction keep breaking them up, and every time Will’s fingers slip
through hers again a warm wave of excitement crests through her
blood. A perfectly temperate ocean breeze plasters her short white
skirt against her thighs, keeping her conscious of the thin white
cotton panties she is wearing beneath it which could be so easily
torn…
‘Carmen, what were you talking about when you
said you were thinking about the concept of breaking the law?’ Will
pulls her safely out of the path of a roller-blader that abruptly
veers off the boardwalk.
‘I wasn’t planning on breaking any big ones, if
that’s what you’re worried about.’ She is feeling pleasantly smug
about the fact that she is with another man today instead of
sitting alone at home thinking about that unbelievable bastard…
‘I’m not worried, Carmen, I’d just like to know
what you were thinking about when you said it. You must have had
something specific in mind.’
‘I don’t know what I meant, Will.’ If Jay could
only see her now…
Beyond a broad expanse of concrete and sand the
ocean is a motionless dark blue at low tide, disappointingly
placid. She had been looking