Free Feast Fight! by Peter Bently Page A

can ask him yourself,” said Baron Fitztightly. “At the banquet tomorrow night.”
    “A royal banquet?” said Sir Percy. “How simply marvellous! Cedric, we must prepare to travel to the palace at once. I shall need new evening robes, my best armour, a new set of plumes for my helmet, and—”
    “This
isn’t
an invitation to the palace,” interrupted the baron.
    “Oh,” said Sir Percy. “So who’s throwing the banquet?”
    “
You
are,” said the baron.
    “Wh-what?” spluttered Sir Percy. “
Me
? Y-you mean the king is coming
here
?”
    “Indeed,” said the baron. “The king and queen are visiting every knight who did well in the tournament. Including
you
, Sir Percy. Or perhaps you’d forgotten?”
    So
that’s
where I’d seen Baron Fitztightly before! A few weeks earlier, the fearsome Sir Roland the Rotten had challenged Sir Percy to a joust at the king’s tournament. Sir Percy wriggled out of it by making me wear his armour and pretend to be him.
    Amazingly, I actually won the joust – by a sheer fluke. But of course everyone thought I was Sir Percy so he took all the credit.He’d even had a huge, expensive tapestry made called
The Triumph of Sir Percy
. It shows Sir Percy knocking Sir Roland off his horse into a large pile of poop. And very splendid it looks, too – apart from the tiny detail that it never actually happened.

    “Their Majesties expect your best bedchambers, an excellent banquet and top-notch entertainment,” the baron went on. “They will arrive just in time to dine at seven o’clock. Talking of which, I’d better get on and deliver these invitations.” He patted a leather bag with two parchment scrolls sticking out of it.
    “Invitations?” said Sir Percy. “Who else is coming?”
    “Whenever the king stays with one of his knights, he always invites all the other local knights to the banquet,” said the baron.
    “Oh, goody!” said Sir Percy. “That means he’ll be inviting my old pal Sir Spencer the Splendid. He only lives an hour’s ride away.What fun!”
    “Correct,” said the baron. “I’m going there next.”
    “So who’s that other invite for?” said Sir Percy. “Ah, I know!” He gave the baron a sly nod and a wink. “Is it perhaps for some noble young … lady? After all, there are no other knights around here.”
    “Depends what you mean by ‘around here’,” said the baron. “This district stretches as far as the Forest of Grimwood.”
    Sir Percy’s face fell. “
Grimwood
?” he said. “But only one other knight lives between here and Grimwood, and that’s … that’s—”
    “Sir Roland the Rotten,” said the baron with a wry smile. “Precisely. I’m sure he’llbe
delighted
to come to the banquet. Good day, Sir Percy!”
    “B-but your lordship!” spluttered Sir Percy. “Wait! I-I…”
    But the baron had already ridden off at a brisk trot.
    We set off back to the castle. Sir Percy hurried ahead while I staggered behind him carrying all his archery equipment.
    “Do keep up, Cedric,” grouched Sir Percy.
    “Sorry, Sir Percy,” I panted.
    “We must start preparing at once for the royal visit,” said Sir Percy. “There’s a lot to arrange. However, it would be
most
unknightly to overburden one’s squire, and therefore I’m only giving youthree things to do.”
    “Thanks, Sir Percy,” I said.
    “Don’t mention it, dear boy,” said Sir Percy. “So you’re in charge of the bedchambers, the banquet and the entertainment. I shall take care of – um – everything else.”
    “Er –
is
there anything else, Sir Percy?” I said before I could stop myself.

    “
Most
amusing, Cedric,” he frowned. “Kindly remember your Squire’s Code and refrain from being cheeky to your master.”
    “Sorry, Sir Percy,” I said.
    “As a matter of fact I shall be
extremely
busy,” Sir Percy said huffily. “But first we have to deal with Sir Roland. There’s no way he’s coming here to spoil
my
banquet. Besides, it’ll be