Free Elizabeth by Evelyn Anthony Page A

thought you loved me,” he burst out. “In God’s name, what are you trying to do, ruin me out of spite?”
    â€œI do love you, Robert. I love you more than life itself—I’ve always loved you. That’s why I cannot give you to another woman; as long as I’m your wife you may grow tired of her and she of you, and then you may come back to me.”
    She crossed to his chair and knelt beside it, her hand gripping his arm, the tears running down her face as she looked up at him.
    â€œI only live in that hope, Robert—that one day we will be as we were. If I let you go as you ask, I should lose you for ever. I cannot do that. I will not do it. And she will not blame you; you won’t be ruined.”
    â€œI will,” he said. “You don’t know the Queen; if she is thwarted.…”
    â€œNo,” Amy said. “No, Robert, it’s no use. I’d go to the Tower rather than do what you want.”
    â€œOh would you!” He wrenched his arm away from her and stood up. “You may well go there, Madam, if you persist in this.”
    â€œI know that. I know what she can do to me; God help me, I even know that you’d encourage her. But you’re my husband; that’s all I have left. Until the day you return to me; and I know you will, whatever you feel now. You’ll come to love me again as you did before.”
    â€œLove you!” Dudley almost spat the words at her. “I never loved you! You think a stripling boy’s daydreams of bed were love? You bored me to death within a few months—in bed and out of it. You stupid, vapid little babbler—why God’s death you never even bore a child! Look at yourself—you have no beauty, no wit, no graces. Love you! I cannot bear the sight of you.”
    â€œDon’t, Robert—I beg of you, don’t wound me like this—don’t be so cruel.…”
    She was sobbing, clinging to the empty chair. She dragged herself upright and seized his arm again.
    â€œI love you … believe me, that’s why I am refusing you … I love you whatever you do or say.”
    â€œThen don’t stand in the way,” he answered fiercely. “Don’t keep me from what I want most in life. I can marry the Queen, Amy, I can be the most powerful man in England, if you will be sensible and agree to a divorce. I can give you money, lands, anything you want—why I’ll feel more fondness for you than I ever did, if you will dissolve this farce of a marriage. Show that you love me! Do what I ask of you and let me go!”
    Slowly Amy Dudley shook her head.
    â€œNo, Robert. Go back to the Queen’s bed which is so much warmer than mine. But you will only lie in it as her lover. You’ll never be another woman’s husband as long as I live.”
    There was no sound in the room for a moment. When Dudley spoke his voice was dangerously quiet.
    â€œThat is your last word?”
    â€œYes.” It was a whisper. One word, spoken so low that he could hardly hear it, and it sounded the final defeat of all his hopes. He felt the grip of her fingers, holding his arm so tightly that the pressure pinched his skin. He suddenly wrenched it free, and in the same movement his hand swung back and he struck her across the face with all his strength.
    He heard her cry out, and the sound of a fall as he turned away. Then the door crashed behind him. When he reached his own room he sent his body servant away and flung himself down on the bed, his head in his hands.
    He sat for so long that he lost count of time, until the chiming of a clock in the next room roused him. He had been thinking, slowly and deliberately, his rage purged out of him by that violent blow. He loosened his doublet, kicked off his shoes and lay flat on the bed in his clothes. Within a few minutes he had fallen asleep. He had made up his mind what he had to do.
    The next morning Mrs. Odingsell reported that