Free The Red Thread by Bryan Ellis Page B

how he went on a date with the crazy guy in town. Oh yeah, even before my stay in the hospital, people already thought I was crazy. I sometimes had a habit of lashing out at others. Nothing too bad, but I would get paranoid, and I guess I yelled at a few people? I don’t really remember much. I had an emotional breakdown, and I’m still reeling from all the side effects. I remember punching a hole through a wall when I was home, and I remember how it completely freaked my mom out. She called my dad up crying, saying they needed to get me help. That was the first time she really noticed how messed up I was.
    That was also the week I slashed my wrists open.
    My phone vibrates, and I grab it off the nightstand. It’s Alex.
    “Hey. What’s up?”
    “Hey, Jess. Do you want to do something tonight? Tommy is already drunk, and you know how he is. I brought him home, but do you want to hang out?” His voice sounds hoarse over the phone, almost as if he has been crying.
    “Yeah, sure.”
    “Cool, I’ll pick you up in five minutes.”
    The dial tone buzzes, and I pocket my cell phone. I lie back on the bed, wondering what’s wrong. Alex is much more open with his feelings than Tommy, but I don’t remember the last time he cried. Probably when Nikki broke his heart in two. She didn’t just break it. She ripped it out of his chest and crushed it until it was dirt on the ground.
    I hear a car pull up to my house, and I am out the door, telling my parents I’ll be home later tonight. I jump into the passenger seat of the car. Alex looks at me and gives me a small smile.
    “Where to?” he asks.
    I shrug. “Surprise me.”
    He hits the pedal, and we’re off. He is a much more cautious driver than Tommy. He actually pays attention to all the road signs and speed limits. I feel much safer being in his car. When I’m with Tommy, I fear for my life. It’s funny how I’m afraid to die with him , but not too long ago, I was willing to take my own life.
    Alex comes to a halt outside the abandoned warehouse, our usual hangout spot. I guess he couldn’t think of anything new. Now I’m really wishing I didn’t say to surprise me. A person can only have so much of a crappy old warehouse, especially when it’s falling apart.
    We get out of the car and sit on the stolen old couches.
    “You look good, Jess.”
    “Thanks,” I say, before we are bathed in silence once again.
    We just sit there, my eyes on the ground. My fingers tap along my leg with a slow rhythm. I don’t know what to say. I just don’t know how to interact with people anymore because I’m afraid of what’s inside me, and I don’t want it to get out.
    “Jess…,” he whispers.
    I turn toward him. He looks up and stares right into my eyes.
    “I really did miss you while you were away….”
    “You mean, while I was locked up basically.”
    “You say it like you’re a head case.”
    “Well, aren’t I?”
    “No. Not even close. If you were a head case, you’d be like murdering people in one of those slasher films you love so much.”
    “Well, maybe I have a machete hidden away with my hockey mask somewhere,” I joke.
    He laughs.
    “When I’m a teacher, please don’t come near my children.”
    I laugh with him. For as long as I’ve known Alex, he has always loved children, and he is attending community college to study education. He wants to teach elementary school. One of his goals in life is to be one of those inspirational teachers they always make bad movies about.
    “Jess?”
    “Yeah?”
    “I, um….”
    What is he so nervous about? I look away to stare at the dirt on the ground. I kick at it with my dirty old Converse. When I look back up, Alex is still staring at me. He looks at me with an intense hazel gaze, his dark brown hair falling into his face. Even I can admit he’s an attractive man, with his big eyes and youthful face.
    “What?” I ask.
    His eyes are intense as he continues to stare at me. I’m starting to feel awkward