Free Shades of Truth by Naomi Kinsman Page A

bleachers after losing a soccer championship in overtime when a player on our team accidentally kicked the ball into our goal.
    My stomach growled. I closed the book and climbed out of bed.
    “Well, Pips, I’ll try it. I didn’t eat dinner tonight anyway.”
    Thankfully, we had a fresh bag of Doritos and my favorite peanut butter — Skippy, extra crunchy. I made the sandwich and went to the darkened living room to sit by the fireplace. I wasn’t allowed to start a fire and figured now wasn’t the time to test the rule.
    The sandwich tasted like home, but eating it wasn’t the same without Pippa. The best part was stacking too many Doritos on top and trying to open our mouths wide enough to take a bite. If our sandwiches fit too easily, we’d make it harder and harder until we made such ridiculous faces we couldn’t help but laugh.
    “I miss you, Pips,” I whispered into the darkness.
    I put my dish in the sink and went back upstairs.
    On my bedside table I kept a picture of Mom and Dad, arms linked, laughing in front of Yosemite Falls. Mom said Owl Creek was changing Dad, but I didn’t want him to change. I wanted him to stay Dad, my laughing, silly Dad who could fix anything.
    I brought my drawing pencils and pad back to bed and used the picture to draw Dad’s face. I made a shaded box like Vivian had shown me and used my pencils and erasers to draw and redraw until I was satisfied with the shape of his eyes, the curve of his eyebrows, the exact shape of his chin. I began to shade his eye.
    So who was Dad changing into? What really happenedwith Jim and Mack? Dad stepped between Jim and Helen and got punched — or had he been part of it? Had he shoved or hit someone? What happened after Jim punched him? Had Dad just walked away?
    Even worse than the questions about Dad, I realized I didn’t know what I would have wanted him to do. So who did that make me? I didn’t know Humphrey, but Helen had known him. She’d loved him. What gave the hunters the right to take his life? I wanted to punch Mack in the face. Punch Jim. Punch Frankie and Ty and all the kids at school. My word study word was
alive
. What a joke.
    Doug said God connected with us in tiny, beautiful moments. But what about these ugly things? What about black eyes and punching and dead bears? Was God there too? And if he was here, right now, what did he think of me and my terrible thoughts?
    I scribbled out my drawing and turned to the next page. The trouble was with the eyes. Dad’s real eyes were always full of weather. Either they sparkled with mischief or brooded with frustration, but Dad could never keep emotion out of his eyes. These eyes were the shape and size of Dad’s eyes, but they didn’t have any life.
    Another page. And another page. It didn’t matter because I couldn’t sleep. I’d draw until I knew every inch and shadow of Dad’s face. Maybe in the meantime I’d learn who he really was.

Chapter 14
Light
    “S adie.” Dad sat on the bed beside me. “Wake up, Sades. Want to take the day off from school and come to the research cabin?”
    I opened my eyes. It was still dark. I’d probably slept only two hours.
    Take the day off school? Dad must feel really bad about last night. I shook off my grogginess and tried to figure out what day it was. Tuesday. Yesterday, school had been awful, as usual, so I didn’t mind missing more of the same today. If I went to the station, I’d see bears, alive and well, maybe Patch and her cubs, or even Big Murphy. But what if I dissolved into tears over Humphrey the minute I saw a bear? My grief certainly wouldn’t help Helen or Andrew. Andrew. In all of my worry about Mom and Dad and Humphreyand Helen, Andrew hadn’t crossed my mind. He probably needed a friend right now.
    “Sure, I’ll go.”
    The bruise around Dad’s eye had green edges. “How long does it take you to get ready nowadays? Used to be you could be out of bed and ready in ten minutes. Remember that?”
    For about a