Free Paper Kisses by Beth D. Carter Page A

if I told you
it was because of you?”
    Her mouth dropped open.   “What…what does that mean?”  
    “Alannah, when you left without
saying goodbye, I was so pissed at you,” he murmured and she winced at the
truthfulness in his words.   “You didn’t
return my calls.   You didn’t write
me.   You said nothing.   You just…completely left me.”
    She winced again.   Well, laid out like that, she sounded like a
bitch.
    “When I got to college, I was
angry.   Picking fights.   Drinking.   Fucking.   Doing dumb things, like
screwing up my scholarship.   And
then one night I was driving and sideswiped a car.   Nothing serious, just a minor fender bender
but it was too much for me, and everything came boiling to a head.   I broke down, right in front of this woman
I’d never met before.”
    “What happened?” she asked,
completely engrossed in the story.
      He shrugged.   “Instead of calling
the insurance company she took me to her home and tied me up.”
    Her eyes widened in shock.   “She just took you home and said ‘I want to
tie you up’?”
    “Well, not so bluntly, but after my
emotional breakdown, it wasn’t hard to seduce me,” he said with a little
smirk.   “She said I was thinking too hard
and promised to take it all away.   And
she did.   She was right. My brain never
shut down.   Once I had my senses
deprived, well, you know what I mean.   Everything just stopped.”
    “Yes,” she whispered.   “It’s never been like that for me.”
    He nodded like he knew, and of
course, he did.   It boggled her mind that
they had that in common, both knowing what it felt like to be strung up like a
Thanksgiving turkey.
    “She was a widow and every weekend,
instead of doing something self-destructive, I went to her and she tied me up
in intricate and pleasurably painful ways.”
    “How long did that go on?”
    “Two years,” he said, and suddenly
his face became very sad and Alannah knew something bad had happened.   “She got sick.   Cancer.   So instead of being tied up, she began
teaching me.   When she died, I found out
she left me everything.”
    Alannah gasped and suddenly, she
realized how he was able to afford this beautiful home.   But looking at his face, she saw that money
was the last thing he cared about.   She
saw the pain that still lingered within him.
    “Were you in love with her?”
    “In love, no.   But I did love her.   Did you love your ex?”
    “In love, no.”
    He nodded, as if he understood
everything.   “She gave me the calm I
needed.   Peace.   I was able to let you go, let go of my anger.   I became a dedicated and focused
student.   I found a bondage club and
continued my studies and now, here I am.   And here you are.”
    “And here I am.   I can’t believe, here I am.”
    “By the way, just to let you know,
I’m clean.   Always a delicate subject but
I was irresponsible for not mentioning it before.”
    “Is that why you didn’t allow me to
swallow?”
    “Yes.   Safety should always be the number one
priority.”
    “Thank you.”   She gave a half snort.   “I’m clean as well.   The last time I had sex was about two months
before Bryce decided he didn’t want me anymore.   I haven’t been with anyone since.”
    “ I’m really not
liking your ex-husband.   Why did
you marry him?”
    “He was everything my father
wasn’t,” she said, and that was all she was going to say on the matter.
    He must have gotten the hint
because he dropped the subject.   “So
you’re here for four days.   That’s how
long I have you.   Tonight I’ll do
something special.”
    “What?   More?   But…I don’t need more, do I?   It was good.   I’m good.   Why ruin it?”
    “What makes you think it’ll be
ruined?”
    “Because…it’s
always special the first time.   And maybe the second and third, but after that…you start finding
other things to keep yourself occupied.   And I don’t want you to ever remember