Free Black Mischief by Evelyn Waugh Page B

robust reality of his own world. His fellow guests, meanwhile, flitted in
and out as though unconscious of his presence, avoiding any appearance of
impinging on the integrity of this glittering circle.
    ‘If I
had my way’, said Lord Monomark, ‘I’d make it compulsory throughout the
country. I’ve had a notice drafted and sent round the office recommending the
system. Half the fellows think nothing of spending one and six or two shillings
on lunch every day — that’s out of eight or nine pounds a week.’
    ‘Rex,
you’re wonderful.’
    ‘Read
it out to Lady Everyman, Sanders.’
    ‘Lord
Monomark wishes forcibly to bring to the attention of his staff the advantages
to be derived from a carefully chosen diet …‘
Basil genially intruded himself into the party.
    ‘Well,
Rex, I thought I’d find you here. It’s all stuff about that onion and porridge
diet, you know. Griffenbach exploded that when I was in Vienna three years ago.
But that’s not really what I came to talk about.’
    ‘Oh,
Seal, isn’t it? I’ve not seen you for a long time. I remember now you wrote to
me some time ago. What was it about, Sanders?’
    ‘Afghanistan.’
    ‘Yes,
of course. I turned it over to one of my editors to answer. I hope he explained.’
    Once,
when Basil had been a young man of promise, Lord Monomark had considered taking
him up and invited him for a cruise in the Mediterranean. Basil at first
refused and then, after they had sailed, announced by wireless his intention
of joining the yacht at Barcelona; Lord Monomark’s party had waited there for
two sultry days without hearing news and then sailed without him. When they
next met in London Basil explained rather inadequately that he had found at the
last minute he couldn’t manage it after all. Countless incidents of this kind
had contributed to Basil’s present depreciated popularity.
    ‘Look
here, Rex, ‘ he said,. ‘what I want to know is what you’re going to do about
Seth.’
    ‘Seth?’
Lord Monomark turned an inquiring glance on Sanders. ‘What am I doing about
Seth?’
    ‘Seth?’
    ‘It
seems to me there’s an extremely tricky political situation developing there.
You’ve seen the news from Ukaka. It doesn’t tell one a thing. I want to get
some first-hand information. I’m probably sailing almost at once. It occurred
to me that I might cover it for you in the Excess.’
    Towards
the end of this speech, Lord Monomark’s bewilderment was suddenly illumined.
This was nothing unusual after all. It was simply someone after a job. ‘Oh,’ he
said, ‘I’m afraid I don’t interfere with the minor personnel of the paper.
You’d better go and see one of the editors about it. But I don’t think you’ll
find him anxious to take on new staff at the moment.’
    ‘I’ll
tell them you sent me.’
    ‘No,
no, I never interfere. You must just approach them through the normal
channels.’
    ‘All
right. I’ll come up and see you after I’ve fixed it up. Oh, and I’ll send you Griffenbach’s
report on the onion and porridge diet if I can find it. There’s my sister. I’ve
got to go and talk to her now, I’m afraid. See you before I sail.’
    Barbara
Sothill no longer regarded her brother with the hero-worship which had coloured
the first twenty years of her life.
    ‘Basil,’
she said. ‘What on earth have you been doing? I was lunching at mother’s today
and she was wild about you. She’s got one of her dinner parties and you
promised to be in. She said you hadn’t been home all night and she didn’t know
whether to get another man or not.’
    ‘I was
on a racket. We began at Lottie Crump’s. I rather forget what happened except
that Allan got beaten up by some chaps.’
    ‘And
she’s just heard about the committee.’
    ‘Oh that. I meant to give up the constituency anyhow. It’s no catch being in the
Commons now. I’m thinking of going to Azania.’
    ‘Oh,
were you? — and what’ll you do there?’
    ‘Well,
Rex Monomark’ wants