Free How Spy I Am by Diane Henders Page B

must
have felt as though he was in some kind of purgatory, assigned to a
desk and babysitting me after his former exciting life as a field
agent.
    Plus, any man in the
world would jump at the opportunity to be with a woman like Honey.
Jack. Whatever.
    I let out a growl and
glared at the bandage on my arm.
    Just an asset. Nothing
but an object, to be used and then discarded when something better
came along.
    I jerked upright and
slammed my fist into the cushions, then sprang to my feet and dealt
the couch a vicious kick. The pain in my unprotected toes made me
yell, and I bombarded the cowering sofa with a flurry of kicks and
punches, swearing at the top of my lungs.
    My fury faded rapidly
as my weakened body surrendered, and I sank to the floor, leaning
my swimming head on the seat of the sofa. The thought of the
listening device in my arm filled me with the same sick disgust as
a parasite burrowing under my skin. I shuddered and dragged myself
to my feet.
    Goddammit, I was sick
and tired of playing by everybody else’s rules.
    I strode down the hall
to find the peroxide bottle.
    It wasn’t much worse
than removing a deeply embedded splinter. A few minutes later I
held the tiny blood-slicked capsule triumphantly aloft in the
tweezers, grinning satisfaction laced with pain.
    My elation ebbed with
the realization that I wasn’t really any farther ahead. I still had
to keep the damn bug with me, or they’d know I’d removed it.
    My favourite
electronics genius would know what to do with it, but Spider was
still living with his parents until his fire-ravaged house was
rebuilt. I couldn’t go over there tonight, dammit.
    Still trapped. Still
helpless.
    The thought caught my
throat, spurring my breath into shallow panting. The panting tried
to turn into sniffling, and I shook my head, stiffening my spine
and squaring my shoulders. I drew a deep breath and let it out
slowly.
    I was fine. Just
exhausted and strung out from hunger and stress and captivity. I
could take the bug to Spider in the morning.
    I’d just go and find
something to do in the mean time.
    I trailed down the
hallway into my office and flopped into my desk chair. When the
computer booted up, I clicked restlessly through some email, too
tired and cranky to respond.
    I eyed the phone. I
should probably call my friends and tell them I was still
alive.
    Hell, what did it
matter? They’d be just as happy to find out I was alive tomorrow.
Assuming they cared more about me than Kane did.
    I banished that
thought and scowled at the screen, hoping something would catch my
interest. The old crossword puzzle icon made my heart squeeze in
sudden grief.
    Robert and I used to
do the puzzles together every night. After he’d died, I’d kept
playing, clinging to the nightly ritual until my pain abated enough
to let it slip away.
    If only I’d understood
how much he loved me. If only he’d succeeded in whisking me away
from this godawful spy’s life.
    But Stemp had ordered
his execution. Stemp, the source of all my misery.
    I shook off the old
cold ache and started the crossword puzzle, holding Robert’s smile
in my memory.

Chapter 10
    The familiar iron bars
burned my skin. The air crushed out of my lungs, light fading to
blackness while I jerked and twisted frantically. I fought for
breath in mindless terror, my screams nothing more than empty
whispers.
    I bolted up in bed, my
last scream still echoing in the dark bedroom.
    Panting, I slumped
forward to massage my face. Apparently I’d been grinding my teeth
again, too. My jaws throbbed fiercely.
    I held my head in my
hands until my pounding heart regained its normal rhythm. The
sadistic glow of my clock-radio taunted ‘3:24 AM’ and I flopped
back onto the pillow with a whimper. Only half an hour since the
last time I’d woken screaming.
    I rolled over to bury
my face in the pillow, firmly denying the impulse to call
Hellhound. He’d already turned me down once tonight. Begging would
just be pathetic.
    I got up