Free The Wild Geese by Ōgai Mori Page B

go to her husband immediately, but what would she have said? She knew her own limitations, and her words would have been meaningless. And then her husband would have invented some tale to trick her and would have succeeded. “I'm not his match in a quarrel. He's too shrewd.” She wondered if she weren't better off to keep quiet. But then what would the result have been? “He'd still have his Muenzaka whore, and he'd have no use for me!” What could she do? What?
    Again and again her thought returned to the point from which they had started. She felt muddled, and she was unable to separate one from the next. Yet somehow she realized that it would be useless to attack Suezo with violence, and she decided to give up that approach at least.
    Suddenly her husband entered their room. Otsune intentionally picked up her round fan and, toying with its handle, remained silent.
    â€œOh?” said Suezo. “Strange looks again? What's wrong?” He was in such good humor that he wasn't in the least offended by his wife's failure to greet him as she usually did.
    She still refused to speak. She had meant to avoid any sort of collision, yet upon seeing him she was so annoyed that it was almost impossible to keep herself from assailing him.
    â€œDon't tell me you're worrying about nothing again? Forget it,” he said, repeating the last words and putting his hand on his wife's shoulder. He shook her two or three times and then sat down on his bed.
    â€œI'm thinking,” she said, “about the future, about what to do with myself. I don't have a family to go back to, and I've got children too.”
    â€œWhat's that? Thinking about what to do with yourself? You don't have to do anything. The world's perfect as it is.”
    â€œGo on. You can speak in such a happy-go-lucky way because it's all the better for you if I become something else.”
    â€œYou're really talking nonsense. That you should become something else? There's no need to change at all. Stay as you are!”
    â€œGo ahead and mock me. You don't have to have anything more to do with me because you don't care if I'm here or not. No, that's wrong. I should have said that what you want is not having me around.”
    â€œYou're all mixed up. Do you honestly mean that it'd be better for me if you weren't here? Just the opposite! I couldn't do without you. I need you for a number of things, not the least of which is to look after the children.”
    â€œOh? A prettier mother will take my place and look after them. Though they'd be step-children.”
    â€œYou're really confusing me. We're their parents. They can never be that.”
    â€œAre you sure? Do you really believe that? What an egotist you are! Do you mean then to have everything just as it is?”
    â€œOf course.”
    â€œOh? Letting pretty and plain have the same parasols?”
    â€œWhat did you say? Now what are you up to? Are you telling me the plot of a farce?”
    â€œYes I'm not allowed to have a part in a serious play.”
    â€œCan't you talk about something more serious than a play? What do you mean by parasols?”
    â€œYou know what I mean.”
    â€œHow can I? I haven't any idea about them.”
    â€œI'll tell you then. Do you remember when you bought me a parasol from Yokohama?”
    â€œWhat about it?”
    â€œYou didn't buy it only for me”
    â€œIf I didn't, then who else did I buy it for?”
    â€œNo, that's not exactly what I mean, I suppose. You did buy it for me, isn't that right? Because the idea just occurred to you when you picked one out for the woman at Muenzaka.”
    Otsune had injected the subject of the parasols into their discussion, and now that the words had taken definite shape, she couldn't help remembering her earlier rage.
    Suezo was startled by this direct hit from his wife, and he almost said aloud: “She's getting closer!” But he was able to look astonished and said: