think that a member of
staff had listened, and possibly witnessed for themselves the erratic fucking
that transpired in the double shower cubicle. Nate, however, found it
incredibly amusing, that was until I notified him that they must have seen my
naked body. A frown had then furrowed his brow, and his jaw became tense.
‘Fucking perverts,’ he had growled.
After seeing the anger evident on his
features, I had then seen the funny side and rolled around the bed, the
mortification instantly being replaced with laughter.
‘Are you the possessive kind?’ I had
questioned, teasingly.
‘No!’ He had shaken his head adamantly,
‘never!’
I’m not convinced, ‘Nate!’
‘I’m not,’ he insists.
‘What’s happening with the blonde from
Jessie’s?’ I ask, casually.
He glowers, ‘my sister needs to be a
little more discreet.’
‘Relax, I’ll disappear in a few weeks, I
know what this is,’ I turn and face him. ‘I would hate for anyone to get hurt,
Nate. The blonde for example,’ I murmur, earnestly. ‘Plus, I
wouldn’t want to ruin anything for you. Not for the sake of my own
selfish needs.’
‘You are not ruining anything for me, I’m
a free agent and intend on remaining that way,’ he confesses.
‘Forever?’ I test.
He shrugs, ‘if that changes, I guess I’ll
know, but nothing has so far persuaded me to revisit anything permanent.’
‘Revisit?’ I challenge, ‘so you have
visited it before?’
He glances at me assessing, before
replying, ‘I was married, out of university. Didn’t work out, I’m now
divorced. I prefer it that way.’
‘Want to talk about it?’ I check.
‘Nope!’ He expresses adamantly.
‘Okay, I guess you’ve been in love then,’
I press.
‘I thought we just decided we wasn’t
going to discuss it,’ his lips tilt, ironically.
‘Sorry,’ I smile, ‘just the once?’
He rolls his eyes, ‘I guess we are
discussing this, yeah, just the once,’ he finally confesses.
I nod, ‘okay.’
‘You?’ He queries.
‘Ever been in love?’ I question, he nods.
‘No!’ I confide, ‘I can honestly say I have never been in love.’
‘Never!’ He marvels.
‘No. I’ve had attractions to men,
enjoyed their company, but no, I imagine if you love someone you can’t live
without them,’ I deduce. ‘I’ve never experienced anything like that in my
life, but I’m happy in my own space. I have needs, but I can fulfil them
and not be tied to anyone. So I do. Safely,’ I add.
‘You never had a long term relationship?’
He checks, evidently amazed by my admission.
‘Not more than a couple of months. To be
fair, I have been building a business,’ I defend. I stop at confiding
that I could never give all of me to someone, trust that they will take care of
me.
‘That’s a damn shame,’ Nate murmurs, his
eyes moving over my face. I shrug, embarrassed by what I see in the blue gaze,
pity, empathy even.
‘It’s by choice, Nate, you don’t have to
feel sorry for me,’ I notify him.
‘I don’t, I feel sorry the fuckers that
you left heartbroken,’ he expresses, nonchalantly.
We had finished our food and were
drinking wine, naked on the bed when Nate begins to look slightly uncomfortable.
‘What’s up?’ I asked, ‘are you worried
about the ‘ implications of all this?’ My stomach twists, has he had his
fill?
His face instantly clears, ‘no, of course
not. It wasn’t something that we could ignore, it would be a shame not to
enjoy the attraction,’ he admits.
‘So, we are clear that this is just an
itch that we had to scratch, right?’ I ratify.
‘Sure. I told you I’m not looking
for anything permanent,’ he assures me. ‘My job is the great love of my
life,’ he maintains.
‘Then what’s with the face?’ I press,
ignoring the twinge of regret. Even if I stayed here, Nate wouldn’t be
interested in a long term relationship with me, although this knowledge should
reassure me, it