Cathwell's is up the spout. The last thing I meant to do was drag you into all this. Please, can you give me some space, just a little while to sort myself out?"
There, I said it and it's the truth. Adam places a finger on my lips. "Shhh," is his only response, as he leans down to kiss me again. "It's going to be fine, Holly, you'll see. Trust me. I'll call you later."
Grabbing his shirt and shoes, seconds later he is gone, leaving me with just the pleasant tingle from his kiss remaining on my lips.
***
Sitting around the flat for the rest of the day trying to figure out my next move isn't working, nor is it helping my mood. Stripping my bed and stuffing everything in the washing machine is a start towards erasing last night's sins. Tara’s not back yet, but today I could do with her company as a distraction. The silence in the flat is deafening, the only sound the thoughts swirling in my head. Even the Foo Fighters blaring on the stereo can't block out my inner commentary of the disaster that's my life right now.
I change quickly, pulling on my running shoes while there's still enough afternoon light. Out on the Heath, my puffs of warm breath create a misty trail in the cold air as I pound for what seems like hours, until darkness really does start to fall and finally the fog that’s been blocking my brain for the last 24 hours begins to lift. I stop, bending over to catch my breath, and start to see sense.
It's not as if I've been sacked. Bill told me to take a few days off, big deal. He's right, I do need it. As for the Henderson pitch, I hope Nick chokes on it. I'm not getting dragged down by some guy, ever again. No matter how much I like him. Liked him.
The last couple of weeks have been crazy. Work, Nick, Adam ... I might as well enjoy the unexpected break. What hurts most is the way Nick behaved. He well and truly took me for a ride. Adam was right, after all.
Last night with Adam was an unexpected turn of events. Dear Adam, texting constantly today to check on me and to declare his undying love. He really is a darling. So sweet. I ought to give him a chance.
So why can't I stop thinking about Nick?
There's only one thing for it. I run back to the flat as fast as I can, and am inside just long enough to change into jeans and a warm jumper. The overnight bag I had packed for Nick's is still in the hall, where Adam must have left it last night when we got home. Money, keys, bag, phone. Check. Pulling on my coat, I slam the door and run down the steps. It's not running away. It's just going home.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
At King's Cross station, my heart is light as I walk down the platform and step on the train. Finding a window seat, I look out at the bright lights of the city at night. The multi-coloured cityscape soon turns to black, and the motion of the train lulls me towards sleep. Before I close my eyes, I send a text and turn my phone to silent.
When I step off the train in Leeds a couple of hours later, it's like I'm in a time and place much further away than the distance travelled. The flashing of my iphone screen is the only reminder of the world I've just left behind. It's an international number, and it can only be one person. The one person I've been waiting to hear from for nearly two days. My heart beats faster, and I waiver, tempted to answer. It takes all my willpower not to. For a few more seconds I stare at the phone sadly, in self-paralysis, until the flashing stops. Too bloody late, mate. No second chances.
I switch the phone off and with a grim smile I scan the platform for a familiar face. "Over here, Holly!" I hear my mum's excited voice before I see her, and follow the hand waving frantically in the air over by the exit gate.
When I get there, her comforting arms swallow me in a hug, and she looks concerned as she brushes a finger under my eye and across my cheek.
"Why are you crying, dear?"
"Because I'm so glad to be home." And I am.
***
As always, my parent’s house is cosy and