Free Line Of Scrimmage by Lolah Lace Page A

strong. She could fend for herself. She loved me just because, not because of sex or money or anything in particular. She was strictly into me because she wanted to be, because she loved the man I am.
    I stopped pacing to think about my next words. “The first time I saw Kari. I wanted her. I could not get her out of my head. I tried everything thing I could think of to block her from my thoughts. Kari avoided me like I was the West Ni le Virus. I didn’t care what she did or didn’t do. Not at all. It was like I was possessed. I pursued her anyway. She warned me away from her and I refused to back off. I went out of my way to be near her. It was like I was obsessed. It was like I was a different person. I showed up at her house. I made a move and that’s how it happened.” I started to rub my chest. I think I was having heartburn.
    “What’s wrong?”
    “My chest hurts. I don’t know heartburn. Maybe I eat something bad.”
    My mom looked doubtful. She knew something that I didn’t but I could see she wasn’t going to share. “Mason, sit down.”
    I did as I was told. I was exhausted from the guilt trips. I took a seat at the kitchen table. “Can I get some water?”
    Mom opened the frig and grabbed a bottle of water and placed it on the table in front of me. “I can see that you’re hurting. I don’t think it’s because Tess found out.”
    “Yes, I’m…hurt.” I took a drink from the water bottle.
    “Did you love her, Kari?”
    I looked up across the table at my mom as I placed the water bottle on the table. I had to be honest.
    “Yes I do. I never said it to her but I do, love her.” I finally exhaled. I said it out loud and it was like I could breathe again.
    “Does she love you?”
    “Yes, I think so.” Why did I pick now to doubt her love for me? This was even a mystery to me.
    “That was a stupid question. Of course she loves you. Any woman would love you. You’re a great son and a good man.”
    “I was.” Past tense.
    “Mason, you still are. Don’t ever forget that.”
    “Mom, I love Kari but you don’t have to worry. I’m not leaving my wife or my kids. It’s over with me and Kari.”
    “Is it?”
    “Yes, of course it is. I have to look after Tess. She’s really fragile right now because of what I’ve done.”
    “You shouldn’t have cheated, marriage vows should mean something but don’t blame yourself for Tess. She has problems that run deeper than you. Married people cheat on each other every day and that’s not an excuse to try to kill yourself. Your faith and love in god should be greater than your love of your mate. I sympathize with her but suicide is unconscionable when you have children.”
    “It’ s my fault.”
    “It’s not your fault but you have to take responsibility for your part in it and move on.”
    “I am. I’m done with Kari. It’s over with us. I am dedicated to my wife and kids.”
    “Mike told me you said that before and then you never stopped seeing her.”
    I frowned. That assclown talks to fucking much. He is a pain in my ass. Besides that’s not exactly how it went down. “It’s different this time.”
    “What’s different? You still love her.”
    “I, I, I don’t, I don’t know.”
    “Mason, I understand. I really do. Sometimes things happen and they spiral out of control. I believe you love this woman but you have to make a choice, not in words but in actions. There’s this thing that happens when you become a parent. You have to put your children’s happiness before your own.”
    “I know--”
    “No listen, I don’t doubt that you truly love Kari but son you have a responsibility to the children you brought into this world.”
    “Mom, I know. That’s why it’s over. I’m not staying because of Tess. I couldn’t live with myself if Tess hurt herself again but I’m staying because of my kids.”
    “I have been teaching for years and I have seen divorce devastate my students. I’ve seen it kill their spirit especially