Free The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom by Christopher Healy Page B

that didn’t hurt”—that’s how Sylvarian dwarfs behave when they’re happy.
    They’re also quite persnickety. It doesn’t take much to get them riled up. For example, they insist on the spelling “dwarves” instead of “dwarfs.” If “wolf” becomes “wolves” and “half” becomes “halves,” they argue, why doesn’t “dwarf” become “dwarves”? The Sylvarian dwarfs once started a war with the Avondellian elves simply because the elves were bragging about the fact that they got to pluralize with a V . Prince Liam had never met any Sylvarian dwarfs either, nor was he familiar with their reputation, which is why he decided to ask this trio for directions.

    Fig. 15 Sylvarian DWARF
    “Excuse me, sirs. Could you tell me if there’s an inn nearby?”
    “Are you talking to us?” the first dwarf asked, barely glancing up at Liam from under his jaunty, ear-flapped cap.
    “Yes,” said Liam. “I’m unfamiliar with the area, and I need to find a place to rest.”
    “Oh, and I suppose you mistook us for a bunch of maps with legs,” said the first dwarf.
    “Can’t you see we’re busy here?” barked the second.
    “Yes,” said Liam. “I was just hoping you could tell me if there was an inn nearby.”
    “There must be an echo around here,” said one of the dwarfs, and the three continued their woodwork.
    “I repeated the question because I didn’t get an answer,” Liam snipped. He’d been in a rather foul mood to begin with, and dealing with these grouches only frustrated him further.
    “You’ve got goop on your head,” the second dwarf said.
    “It’s cantaloupe,” Liam replied.
    “Thought so,” said the third dwarf. “I hate melon.”
    “I’m not a fan myself,” Liam said. “Now, about that inn…”
    “Oh, I’m sorry,” the first dwarf sneered sarcastically, as he and the others stopped chopping. “I forgot that we’re all supposed to drop what we’re doing whenever a smug stranger comes up to us with a question. Who are you supposed to be, anyway?”
    “For your information, I happen to be Prince—” Liam stopped himself. His anger with the dwarfs had peaked, and he was about to give them a royal shouting-down when he remembered his sister’s advice about keeping a low profile. If Briar Rose’s lies about him had spread into Sylvaria, the worst thing Liam could do was to tell these dwarfs his real name.
    “Charming,” he said through clenched teeth. “I’m Prince Charming.” It pained him to say those words.
    The dwarfs looked at one another, then back to Liam. “No, you’re not,” they said in unison.
    “Honestly, I am. Maybe you’ve heard the story....”
    “Oh, we know the story,” said the first dwarf. “And you’re not the guy from the story.”
    “Really, I am,” Liam said. “I kissed a cursed princess and woke her from a sleeping spell.”
    “Yeah, like I said, we know the story. Prince Charming did that, all right,” said the first dwarf. “But that’s not you.”
    “Why are you so insistent that I’m not Prince Charming?”
    “Because we’ve met Prince Charming, and you’re not him,” the first dwarf replied. “Now get out of here and stop pretending to be someone you’re not.” He and his companions raised their axes in a threatening manner.
    That clinches it , Liam thought. Briar Rose has definitely gotten to these guys . She hadn’t, though. Not this time. Like I said, the dwarfs are just really cranky. But Liam left anyway.
    A mile or so down the road, he found a nice quiet spot and stopped. He dismounted his horse and sat under a big oak tree to think. He used the bottom of his cape to wipe the cantaloupe mush from his hair. How have I managed to sink this low, this fast? he wondered. Despondent and exhausted, he fell asleep.
    He was awakened some time later by a tentative voice. “Excuse me, sir?”
    Still half-asleep, he squinted through his drowsy haze at two figures standing before him. One was wearing an ornate but