Free The Earl's Childe by T. J. Wooldridge

in place at his gate when I arrived. What is it? What has happened?
    Blurting “I’m sorry,” I threw up a huge mental wall in my head. I sensed his offense as he backed away from me. I flung myself against the board of his paddock, breathing in gasps and sobs, which tore at my voice as I continued, “I’m sorry. Just, I don’t need you to be angry, too, and you will be angry and-and-and I just need…” I didn’t finish. I just needed a horse . A big dumb animal whom I could throw my arms around and who would just stand there and let me cry into his fur.
    My mental wall must not have been working all that well, or maybe Ehrwnmyr had more compassion than I figured for a child-murdering fey horse, but he edged closer until his head hung over the fence, and his neck was right next to me. With a ragged sniffle, I leaned against him. When he didn’t flinch, I wrapped my arms around his neck and let loose with crying. I hardly even thought about his tentacle fur, which I felt lightly brushing against my skin.
    I still tried to keep that mental wall, but I didn’t feel that weird pressure of him inside my head. If anything, it was almost like a feeling of down or pillows in my brain. I think he was trying to purposely withdraw and give me my space.
    As if from very far away, I sensed his wordless communication that he was trying to please me.
    â€œI…I need to think.” I spoke into his neck, then pressed my lips closed as the tiny tentacles of his fur tried to explore my mouth. I didn’t want to let go, though. I needed to hold onto something. I had never felt this much of an emotional mess in my life! “Can I…can you, I don’t know, just promise to not think anything to me if I’m thinking? Not say anything… I don’t know…”
    Not judge? His mind-voice sounded far away. He was definitely trying to give me headspace.
    I appreciated that. “Umn-hmn.” I nodded against him.
    I can keep my opinions to myself .
    I nodded, just barely remembering not to actually say “Thank you.” I didn’t know what that would mean with the soul bond, but as much as I appreciated Ermie being…a friend…at the moment, I wasn’t sure I trusted that I could chance making any weird mess with a debt I owed him or something.
    I didn’t think of anything at first. I was just aware of how not horse the kelpie was. His body was still warm, almost hot, like a horse’s, and I could feel the massive muscles of his neck and shoulders beneath his coat and skin, but that was where the similarities ended. The muscles were tighter, more ropey, and his shoulders were bonier. And there was the tentacle fur, which was still trying to explore my face, and I was handling it pretty well. At least I wasn’t getting squicked out by it.
    Then there was the smell, which I was only beginning to notice now. Horses smell like sweet grain, dirt, and sweat. Ermie, himself, smelled like brine, seaweed, and the ocean. It wasn’t an unpleasant smell.
    Once I became more used to the sensation of hugging a kelpie as opposed to a horse, my mind crept back to my room, to the look on my dad’s face—the many looks on his face. The focus when he was getting ready for the spell, the severity and ferocity when he had Tom captured, and how his every emotion crumbled when I yelled at him and showed him he had hurt me.
    He was mad. Angry mad…and even mental mad. He had been terrifying.
    My dad had been terrifying.
    I felt goose bumps prickle all over my skin, and I shivered against Ermie.
    On top of it all, the reason my dad was going mad was because of the creature I was now hugging and seeking comfort from. Because I had insisted we not kill him. And, as much of a mess the kelpie was still causing, I wouldn’t change my decision. I wouldn’t kill him, and I wouldn’t let my dad kill him—whether Ermie had a piece of my soul or