be wearing
those.”
“ Hey,
now, you know these are my favorite pajamas.” I drop myself
heavily onto the sofa next to her and cross my arms over my chest
defensively.
“ Should
I go bake us a cake?”
My stomach grumbles
at just the mention of cake. A little voice inside of me, however,
says no. It's like I can see the angel on my shoulder smacking me on
the nose with a wooden spoon. You don't need to get any fatter. I
ignore it and go with the devil's response, the part of me who is
trying desperately to no longer give a crap about Lucian Reddick.
“That would be lovely.”
“ Chocolate?”
she asks, as if she even needs to. Who in the hell ever wants to eat
white cake when they're feeling down?
“ You
know me so well.” I give her knee a playful squeeze before she
stands to head to the kitchen.
“ Need
any help?” I ask over my shoulder, already knowing she'll say
no.
“ Nope.
Just turn the TV up a little, so I can hear it better.”
I lean over and grab
the remote to turn the volume up a few clicks. While I really don't
want to watch the movie, asking if I can change the channel will just
queue Janice in to the fact that my problem is love related. Instead,
I make a mockery of the movie inside of my head, thinking about how
full of shit it is. Hopefully, she won't want to watch another
romance after this one. I'm honestly not sure how much I can take
before I let my bad mood shine through.
“ I'm
thinking of going back to Flesh,” she tells me over the sound
of the television.
Flesh. Just the
mention of that place makes me cringe. That's where I met him .
That's when everything changed. I can't help but wonder if I had
never met Lucian at Flesh if I would still be sexually involved with
him now. There's no way of knowing though.
“ Oh?”
It's the most interest I can pretend to muster.
“ Yeah.
I had a lot of fun the first time I went. Besides, I think I'd like
to do a few more scenes before I start looking for a Dom of my own.
It might be easier to get a Dom if I'm experienced. Then again, maybe
not.”
“ You
could probably find someone to do a scene with for free now.” I
tilt my head to the side, but I don't look back at her. This is the
best part of the movie, where the guy realizes he was being an idiot
and goes to find the girl before she moves out of state and out of
his life forever.
“ I
could, but I really like the professionalism at Flesh. I feel like
those guys know what they're doing. I don't have to worry about
ending up with some douche who is just playing pretend.”
Lucian definitely
wasn't playing pretend. BDSM seems to be a big part of his sex life.
I wonder if he's even capable of having normal sex.
“ Well,
whatever you want to do.” I shrug.
“ Don't
you want to go back?” Janice walks around the side of the sofa
with a bowl in her hand and two spoons inside. She sets the bowl
between us, sharing the leftover batter from the cake.
I take my spoon and
start scraping the side of the bowl. We have a rule where we always
leave enough cake batter so that we can each get at least two
spoonfuls of raw cake. I think it tastes even better than cooked
cake, but it's so bad for you.
“ I
honestly don't want to go back.”
“ Why
not?” She quirks an eyebrow at me. “I thought you had a
good time when you went.”
“ I
did have a good time, but it's not something I'd want to repeat.”
I keep my eyes on the bowl as I speak. “You know, I really only
got into BDSM because you've been so obsessed with it. I was curious,
but now my curiosity is satiated. Now I want to go back to normal
relationships.”
She nods, obviously
not excited that I don't want to continue the BDSM journey with her,
but accepting, nonetheless. “Alright. Well, I'm glad you tried
something new. I, personally, want to keep looking into it. Maybe Sir
can eventually point me in the right direction to find a Dom of my
own.”
“ I
hope it works out for you.” I smile weakly at her.
“