Free Life In The Palace by Catherine Green Page B

mother in the world.”
    Seth snorted, “Whatever gave you that idea? My father is more of a hands on sort of Dad, so he took some of the edge off. It wasn’t all bad. I play piano and Josh is much better on the violin than he would care to admit. When we were kids we played a concerto together with Susie on the harp.”
    “Harp?”
    I saw his eyes crease as he smiled. “Yes, harp. She’s thinking of applying to the Music Faculty here. She inherited a lot of Mom’s drive to succeed.”
    “What did you get from her?”
    He licked his lips, “Honestly? The annoying ability to be nearly perfect at everything I do.”
    “Humility, apparently, was not part of the package.” I pulled him a little closer so he’d know I didn’t actually mind.
    “It is a double-edged sword. I don’t usually try to do things I won’t be able to do perfectly, so it’s rather self-perpetuating. I’m not an artist. Sometimes I think I should take an art class so I can practice doing something I’m really bad at in the name of personal development. I was trying to branch out with Capoeira.”
    “You were definitely holding your own at the Tams on Sunday.” I said encouragingly.
    Seth looked sheepish, “That was my second time doing it. It’s not that hard.”
    We had walked out of the student ghetto and into the main business area. I caught sight of our reflection in the giant window-walls of an office building. I stopped to stare.
    “Oh.” I looked up at him, and without thinking my free hand caressed his cheek.
    “You just realized I’m a total jerk? It’s my big secret. People expect me to be a jerk and then I prove them wrong, but under the surface lurks my true nature.”
    I didn’t laugh, and he looked worried. I shook myself. “As long as you continue to have healthy level of self-deprecation we’ll be ok. That’s not the problem. I was having a nice time, talking to you and looking at the people passing by. I just passed this beautiful couple. They were both attractive, well dressed and looked very in love. I felt the usual twinge of jealousy.”
    Seth wrinkled his brow. “So? You’re normal.’
    I pointed to the huge shiny wall of window, “It was us! We are that couple!”
    Seth snorted with laughter and started walking again. “Which part’s upsetting you, that they were very much in love or that you accidently noticed you’re attractive?”
    “I don’t think I’m ready to be one of those beautiful people,” I wailed.
    “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Life is not a ride at Disney. You don’t just pick which story you’re living out and then just let it happen to you. Life is something you chose.”
    I looked away, “Tell that to everyone else out there.”
    “Everyone else is stupid. You don’t have to be the person you started out being. You can become someone else but not by purchasing an identity on eBay. If you, Chloe, don’t want to be a beautiful person, then no one can make you be it.”
    I smiled weakly. “Can I just be your girl?”
    “Every day for the rest of my life, but don’t make it your identity.” His emerald eyes smoldered with an emotion I couldn’t name.
     
    There are moments that you enjoy so much, you replay them over and over again waiting for buses or when you can’t get to sleep at night. When I’m so old that my mouth has shrunk and my dentures threaten to take over my face, this moment will still warm my gnarled innards.
    I liked this bar better than the one from the first night. Down by the old docks, this bar sported small bowls of nuts on each table and soft jazz music playing in the background. The raw stone walls hummed from centuries of tobacco and nights well lived.
    He was holding my hand so without realizing what was happening, I followed him as he moved forward around the corner of the bar. Suddenly it’s too late to back out.
    They’re all here. It’s like walking into the line – dancing hall in full goth-gear, except without