her sitting up straight, sipping cold water from a Styrofoam cup, and happily, apart from her watery eyes, there was not a hint to suggest that moments earlier she had been out for the count on the classroom floor. All this left Denise looking forlorn that the drama was almost overâand without any hope whatsoever of a dramatic race to the hospital in the back of an ambulance!
Mrs. McGillicuddy, on the other hand, looked instantly relieved as she watched Lauraâs cheeks return to their healthy pink color, as this surely meant there was no further cause for concern. However, she declared her decision to err on the side of caution and so personally escort Laura down to the nurseâs sick bay just in case. âListen up, all of you! I have to leave the room for five minutes. Please do me the service of remaining calm and quiet as you clean up after yourselves. Pelligrim, thank you for taking the initiative to collect up all the surgical knives and tweezers. Please leave them soaking in a bowl of soapy detergent.â
âYes, miss,â Anthony Pelligrim swiftly replied. Mrs. McGillicuddy was about to advance toward the door with Laura in tow when something else caught her attention.
âDruzilla Bostock, kindly stop using the tweezers to pluck your eyebrows, for need I constantly remind you that these implements are the sole property of the school and therefore are only meant to be used for the distinct purpose for which they were originally purchased, namely that of dissecting small animals as well as other small insects? Do I make myself clear?â
âYes, perfectly, miss,â replied a blushing Druzilla as she hurriedly popped her mirror back into her schoolbag before contemptuously dropping the tweezers into the large receptacle that goody-two-shoes Anthony Pelligrim was now aggressively holding up to her face as he wormed his way around the desks. Druzilla then turned to face her best friend Eleanor Boodlebutt and in a loud voice said, âWell, if anyone could really do with the help of some surgical tweezers, itâs got to be Miss âBombshellâ McGillicuddy. Perhaps the school should do us all a favor and invest in some large, oversized tweezers, as well as a mammoth-sized scalpel for her benefit,â she huffily stated through pouting lips as she tossed her long fringe to one side.
All those in the near vicinity who heard Druzillaâs cheap remarks appeared to think them very funny. One brazen student even dared to stand behind Mrs. McGillicuddy as he mischievously held up a hastily drawn picture of their slightly off-the-wall teacher in a barberâs chair ready and most willing to go under the knife. Luckily her teacher was partially deaf, so she carried on yelling her orders oblivious to the latest insults regarding her persona.
âPelligrim, I am also giving you and Blunkett the responsibility of collecting all the soiled dissecting trays from the desks, for these also require cleaning. Please fill up a sink with hot water, and donât forget to add a squirt of sterilizing solution. I will get the next class to finish any leftover tasks. Do I make myself perfectly clear? I will be back in five minutes after Iâve assisted Laura here down to the sick bay.â
No sooner than the door was closed behind their teacher than total chaos broke loose as the boys seized the opportunity they had in all earnest been praying for. Polly turned around to see Ben Hogwhistle, who had earlier elected himself the official collector of all leftover and abandoned eyeballs, begin to lop eyeball after eyeball in the direction of the girls. Eleanor Boodlebutt was the first to let out a shrill scream as a disgustingly smelly eyeball landed smack bang in the center of her lap. From then on it was a scene of pure chaos as distraught girls ducked and dived from the slimy offensive weapons that were being hurled through the air at great speed and mainly in their direction. And this
Stephen Baldwin, Mark Tabb
Steve Berry, Raymond Khoury