Free Judas and the Vampires by Aiden James

and Alistair slept on the plane. Nothing serious, mind you. But the promise of something more was there for the taking—should I desire more than the mere pecks on my cheeks and forehead the three young ladies delivered. So many centuries of conquest and foreplay made so much of this boring for me. Yes, I never thought it would happen either...but it has happened. This only deepens my pain when I think about Beatrice in her nursing home bed...waiting to cross over to the other side.
    “I don’t recall what I told you last night,” he said, sheepishly. “But surely there are other things we can do that don’t involve personal embarrassment to me.”
    “Ah, come on, old man—you’ll have a blast!” I teased. I’m pretty sure my mischievous grin raised the ante on Amy’s look from a moment ago.
    “Oh, yeah? The last time you said those words I almost fell into an active Chilean volcano!” Without waiting for us, he moved quickly toward the food court. “If either of you want to break your necks while riding a pair of wooden sticks, then be my guest. I’m sure I can find enough other distractions to keep me occupied until it’s time to go!”
    Ms. Golden Eagle hurried to catch up to him, chuckling along the way.
    “I’m just kidding!” I picked up my pace when the two of them made a beeline toward a breakfast vender. “Besides, we’ve got some patent leather luggage to hunt for!”
    I heard him groan disgustedly before increasing his strides. He was all business now, with Amy scurrying to keep up with him. Meanwhile, I kept pace, but at a distance. I had just noticed three robed men watching us from the second floor landing near the main escalators. One wore a distinctive ghutra that I recalled seeing at the airport. Perhaps it was nothing. But years of working undercover for the U.S. government had taught me to study consistencies versus inconsistencies within my surroundings. This skill could’ve saved me from several of my deaths in the early years of my existence.
    In any case, I made a mental note of the men, being careful to keep my upward glances to a minimum. From the looks of things, neither my son nor the lovely lady gracing us with her presence had an idea anything was up. That was good...less to go wrong if everything progressed in a normal fashion.
    “Hey, Pops, hurry up and join us!”
    Huh?
    Alistair motioned to a table near the middle of the food court. I casually walked over to them while they waited, catching a glimpse of the men moving closer to us from upstairs. Either they were watching us, or someone else, in the vicinity of the table Alistair and Amy had chosen.
    “Go get something to eat and we can start discussing what to do next,” said Alistair, to which Amy added a supportive nod.
    “Pops?” I eyed him suspiciously.
    I sauntered over to the breakfast burrito booth located right smack between a pizza place and McDonalds. Literally dozens of questions filled my mind while I waited for my bacon and egg wrap to be prepared. I repeated my simple question upon my return to the table.
    “She knows, Pops,” said Alistair, confirming my immediate fears. “She knows all about you, your real age, and even your quest for the final nine coins paid in exchange for Jesus Christ.”
    I laughed...uproariously. Really I did. I mean, wouldn’t anybody? All the while, three men dressed in typical Saudi headdresses watched from a couple hundred feet away.
    “He’s telling you the truth,” said Amy, evenly. “And I believe him. I believe you really are Judas—”
    “Sh-h-h-h!!!”
    I leaned toward her, ready to shut her mouth by force if necessary. I couldn’t believe this was happening—especially in a fairly crowded mall with lots of shoppers around us. Granted, I had already attracted some attention with my sudden burst of laughter. Most of the people spoke in one form of Arabic or another, but I could damn well guarantee every one of them at least understood English. How I longed