scream.
Where am I?
There’s pressure across my middle, and I look down. Even in the dark I can make out an arm. A guy’s arm. It’s resting across my stomach. I turn my head ever so slightly and see him.
It’s Kyle. He’s lying on his stomach. Half his face buried in a pillow. Nervous dread swallows me whole.
What have I done?
Carefully, so carefully I try to scoot out from under his arm. I can’t be here. I can’t. I can’t. But I have no idea where here is. I don’t remember leaving the party. Did we walk? Drive?
Everything after the fourth Jell-O shot is wiped. Panic sets in. Did he drug me? Did we do it?
Please, no.
And, Gina! I ditched her again. She probably thinks I’m the worst friend. She wouldn’t be wrong. Sick horror fills my throat.
I scoot further away.
His hand tightens around my waist. “Don’t go,” Kyle mumbles.
“I-I. How did I get here?”
His eyes open and he lifts up.
My eyes register he isn’t wearing a shirt. His hair is beautifully rumpled. His face is soft, young, and I see the boy I love in his features.
Oh my.
He seems to notice where his hand is and grips my waist tighter, pulling me closer. “Nothing happened,” he says, probably reading the terrified look on my face.
“Okay,” I answer, grateful. Every part of my body wants to believe he’s telling the truth. My first time is definitely something I want to remember. My heart is beating so fast I fear it’ll burst through my chest, my skin, and reveal all my secrets.
His face shifts closer to mine. My first thought it to reach up and trace his jaw line, his nose, and those lips. Run my fingers through his untamed hair, down the muscles on his back, his arms, and his chest.
“You asked me to kiss you .” His face is close, so close I can almost taste him.
My face flushes hot as the sun. I’m afraid I’ll burn him with my humiliation. “I’m sorry.” I peer at him. “I shouldn’t have.”
“I can do it now.” His voice is gruff, coursing with the desire I feel but can’t show.
My heart is bleeding, tearing itself into pieces. I want him to kiss me. I do. More than anything. But if we were to go there, then what?
“Don’t worry about it,” I say, looking away.
Kyle blows out a frustrated breath, and stands. I can’t help but notice he’s in nothing but boxer-briefs. They hug his legs, his butt in all the right places. He picks up a shirt and jerks it over his head. His body fascinates me, the way his back muscles flex when he moves.
“You should be more careful. Don’t drink more than one shot and one drink at the next party. And don’t ever leave a party by yourself with someone you don’t know.” He shoots me a glare, his jaw tensing. “You’re lucky I didn’t take advantage of you.” He runs his hands through his hair. Picks up his jeans and pulls them on. I’m stupefied again. Watching him move is like hearing a heartbreaking melody. He’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.
I swallow. His words have me boiling with shame. He’s right. Every word he said is almost the exact lecture I received from my aunt when she dropped me off. But what he’s too dense to see is that I already know him. I already love him. We made each other promises.
You were children , my mind shouts.
“ I’ll take you home. You’re living in the dorms?”
“ Yeah.” I untangle the sheets and climb out of his bed. I’m still in my dress. Obviously nothing happened. That says a lot about the guy. He could’ve done whatever he wanted, but he didn’t. He took care of me, kept me safe. “Thanks,” I add.
“Don’t thank me yet. You left the party with me. People saw us together. Just about every person at that party knows what happens when I leave with a girl.”
My mouth drops open, and I think of the girls he was with in the cafeteria. The ones wearing the slut shoes. Gina said he likes kinky sex. My thoughts are spiraling into a dark place I never even imagined. Two girls.
Tim Lahaye, Jerry B. Jenkins