Free What Might Have Been by Kira Sinclair Page A

no idea how often I wanted it to be me in the ground instead of him.” It certainly would have ended her guilt.
    He took another step closer. “Don’t say that. Logan wouldn’t have wanted that.”
    â€œMaybe not, but that doesn’t make it better. He was there for me when I had no one, Luke, when I needed someone desperately. I owe him more than you’ll ever know.”
    He reached for her then. Gently unfurling her clenched fists from around the bridge post and turning her toward him. His arms went around her, a warm haven, the kind of support she’d rarely known in her life.
    â€œBut you didn’t love him?”
    Burying her head in his chest, she let his shirt gather her words. “No. And I think that makes it even worse.”
    They simply stood there, her heart racing between them, his chest rising and falling on labored breaths. Even now, talking about his brother—her husband—they couldn’t seem to shutter their physical awareness of each other.
    They both knew it was there. At one point in time those moments of electricity had been the best part of her life. What she looked forward to most out of every day. And then their connection had been gone, and all that was left was the pain of memory and the yearning for something that was no longer hers.
    And now, in the charged energy between them, that recognition and need was there again. It tempted her to do things she knew she shouldn’t. The longer she spent close to him, the more she couldn’t remember why giving in was a bad thing.
    Her body was clearly winning.
    After a few moments he pulled away, resting the palm of his hands on the swell of her hips and looking her squarely in the eyes again.
    â€œI do have one more question. If you didn’t love him, why did you marry him?”
    How was she supposed to answer that? She couldn’t tell him the truth. Wasn’t ready to tell him the truth even if she’d thought it would make a difference. Not when they were finally starting to communicate without anger and unhappiness between them.
    So she settled for part of the truth, but not the most important part. Her father would have told her a lie of omission was still a sin.
    He’d be right. But it was hardly her worst one.
    â€œBecause I needed someone. And you weren’t here.”

7
    T HE SHRILL SOUND OF THE phone startled Gran out of her reverie…out of the good memories that had been her companion through the pain of the past few weeks.
    She sat at the table, waiting for Ainsley or Luke to pick up one of the other extensions. Oh, yes. She’d forgotten for a moment that they’d gone into town. She pushed unsteadily from the table and grasped the receiver.
    Phones were so different now. She could immediately sit back down at the table, taking the cordless extension with her. Shaking her head, Gran punched the button that Ainsley had showed her would answer the call.
    So many buttons these days.
    â€œHello?”
    â€œCan I speak with Luke Collier please?”
    â€œI’m sorry, he’s not here.” She hoped he and Ainsley got back soon, though. They needed to leave for the funeral home in a couple hours.
    â€œCould I leave him a message?”
    â€œCertainly. Let me find a piece of paper.” Her jointsmoaned in protest as she stood and walked to the far side of the kitchen. She reached into the drawer where Ainsley had arranged the few things she’d need.
    â€œThis is his Realtor. We have someone interested and they’d like to meet to discuss the property.”
    Gran stopped scratching as soon as the woman on the other end had said Realtor.
    â€œDo you have a number where he can call you back?”
    The woman recited it and Gran pretended to write it down.
    â€œI’ll ask him to call you.”
    Disconnecting the line, Gran tore the small square of paper from the pad, ripped it into several pieces and slipped them into the pocket of