Free Exposed: Book One of The Love Seekers Series by Maria Vickers Page B

guy with your brain. A guy doesn’t want to date someone who’s smarter than them.” Those worlds sealed it for me. I didn’t want to depend on someone else to live my life. That wasn’t living. And if a guy didn’t want me for me, if I had to dumb myself down for someone, then I didn’t want him.
                  My family was never rich or well–off, but we had enough and did not struggle. I knew if college was going to be an option for my future, I better work my ass off for scholarships. And I did. I wound up with a full ride to North Texas University, one of the best schools in Texas for psychology.
                  And getting in was only the beginning of my work. In order to keep my scholarships, I had to maintain a certain GPA, the dorms had curfews, and I had a packed schedule. Dating? My love life became secondary to finishing my degree. Yes, I dated here and there, but nothing of any real substance. My experience with guys during college consisted of my roommate forcing me to go on a double date with her because she needed an extra person. I was her last resort. When I gave Bryan my low number, I never included those last resort dates, because I didn’t consider them worth mentioning.
                  After I obtained my Bachelor’s, I had to get my Master’s. Guys were never the priority until I entered the workforce. Fresh out of college, a large company hired me to work in their marketing department and to develop new training programs for their new recruits. I loved my job. It had not been something I initially considered doing while going to school, but it fulfilled me and paid well. Dating was not an option, and I wanted to date, but I couldn’t find a guy who wanted to date me. And when I would find someone, they weren’t worth keeping around.
                  Or so I told myself. Inside, I secretly questioned myself. Was my sister right about men in general? Did they hate girls smarter than them? Ones that were more successful? Did my curves turn them off? Since high school the men throwing themselves at me were practically non–existent. But when it came to my sister, men flocked to her when she batted her eyes.
                  I asked my guy friends about it one day, and they all laughed. When their riotous laughter calmed down, Bobby told me I was more like one of the guys than a girl. I was the buddy they all wanted. A buddy, one of the guys. They did not see me as a lovely girl or someone to date.
                  Self-esteem issues abounded before myasthenia gravis, and after I became disabled, they got worse. Now men stared at me as if I was a leper. In their heads, I was an invalid, and not what they wanted in a future partner.
                  I could no longer work, my body quit cooperating with me, and I found myself alone. When I became sick at 25, I should have been living my dream life, but instead I was worried and trying to figure out where my life was heading. It felt like this disease robbed me of my life. Now that I was 29, there were times I still felt as if my life had been spirited away, however, I had also found a new life through writing, reading, and trying to spread the word about myasthenia gravis awareness.
                  When people used the saying, stop and smell the roses, or said live for today because you never know what will happen tomorrow…I painfully understood exactly what they meant.

Chapter 1 0
    Emma
     
    It would be another two days before I would hear from Bryan again for a total of three days without any communication. At times it felt longer than that, especially when my eyes would slowly gravitate toward my phone, or when I happened to be on my computer. I always had FaceSpace messenger open because I didn’t want to miss his message. Silly, really, since I couldn’t miss his message given all the electronic devices I owned with FS messenger downloaded on