Free How to Kill Yourself in a Small Town by eden Hudson Page B

knowing my sister’s brain was
corroding?
    Tough’s
brother Colt was thirty-four days into something that he shouldn’t have
survived past day eighteen. I’d heard Willow say it and I knew it was amazing,
but it hadn’t dawned on me what that really meant—Colt was beating Mikal. He
couldn’t hold out forever and, if the articles were right, then the more
brutality Mikal got to use to break him, the more fun she would have. But Colt
had already gone almost twice what most people enthralled to an enforcer had.
    I
hugged my arms around the pain in my stomach. Maybe it hurt like heck to know
your brother was a familiar, but maybe it was also a twisted kind of comfort to
know he hadn’t lost yet.
    When
the song ended, Tough cocked his head and looked right at me. The pause
stretched out. People started yelling requests, but Tough kept staring at me
like he was trying to see inside my skin. I squirmed. What if he could read
minds?
    Don’t
think about how hot he is. Or how hot his brother is. Or how you saw his
brother’s—
    Stellar
job, brain. Great first instincts.
    Finally,
Tough started another song, banging out raw resentment with a country twang. I
didn’t recognize the tune, but the crowd went nuts.
    Camo-Hat
laughed and started to sing—
    “You
kept me cheap and down,
    Bullshit
me all over town,
    Taught
me to love pain,
    That
I ain’t worth anything.
    But
anymore the sex don’t distract
    From
the bitch I’m looking at.
    Now
I’m pretty sure
    I
ain’t the only whore,
    And
I’m done crawling back for more.”
     
    Everyone
who knew the song started yelling along with Camo-Hat when he got to the
chorus.
     
    This
town can suck me.
    Protection
can fuck me.
    You
can keep my soul.
    I
already leased out that hole,
    When
I lost my halo in your bed.

 
     
     
     
     
     
    Tough
     
    When
the set was over and we were putting stuff up, I was shaking a little bit. Not
enough for someone looking at me to notice, but enough that I felt it in my stomach.
Adrenaline, a good set, and a little showing off always did that to me, got me
so jacked up I could run all night.
    “Wipe
that shit-eating grin off your face or I’ll do it for you.” Owen swung his
fiddle case at my nuts as he passed by. “Look like a damn possum.”
    I
slapped his case down and threw up my arms like Let’s go, bitch!
    Owen
got up in my face, all crazy-eyed and grinning.
    “Need
your ass kicked, boy?” he asked, banging against my chest, trying to shove me
back.
    I
nodded and yanked my hat down tight like I was ready to tear into him.
    “You
been hanging around them big-city pussies too long if you don’t remember what a
Grade-A, certified, country-fried badass who will fuck you up looks like,” Owen
hollered.
    Willow
rolled her eyes.
    “I
want to get to the bonfire sometime before sunrise,” she said. “You guys either
settle this at the farm or borrow Rowdy’s tape measure and get it over with.”
    “Oh,
hell yes, I got this one,” Owen said, pretending to go for his fly.
    I
gave him the Up Yours sign and kicked the lid of my guitar case shut. Desty was
still hanging back along the wall. I wished she’d come over.
    Dodge
saw where I was looking.
    “Why
don’t you bring your girl out to the farm,” he said. “Nothing like a bonfire
for a little romance.”
    Owen
started humping the air and singing, “Get that truck a-rocking like a Garth
Brooks song—”
    But
Willow said, “You should totally bring her. I’ll go ask her for you.” She
locked up her headphone case and headed for the stairs, passing close enough by
me that I could’ve stopped her if I’d wanted to. “Desty!”
    I
snapped the latches shut on my case and hopped off the stage beside Willow.
    Desty
smiled at me and that shaking feeling in my stomach spread out to my arms and legs.
I hadn’t noticed before that I was pretty much soaked in sweat. I took off my
hat and wiped the damp hem of my t-shirt across my face.
    “A
bunch of us are going to Dodge’s for