Free Mrs. Lilly Is Silly! by Dan Gutman Page A

nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you!

It was a lady who came running into our classroom. She was wearing an old-time man’s hat and a trench coat. * There was a camera around her neck and a notepad in her hand. She was all out of breath.

    â€œIs Career Day over?” she asked.
    â€œMrs. Lilly!” said Mr. Granite.
    I recognized Mrs. Lilly. She’s a reporter for our local paper, the News Tribune Bulletin Inquirer . She wrote an article about our school when a squirrel ate through the power lines and all the lights went out. They put my picture in the paper and everything. My mom put it up on the refrigerator.
    â€œSorry I’m late,” Mrs. Lilly said. “I had to write a big story about a tree.”
    â€œWhy did you write about a tree?” asked Andrea.
    â€œYeah, why did you write about a tree?” asked Emily, who always does whatever Andrea does.
    â€œIt fell down,” said Mrs. Lilly.
    â€œSo what?” asked Ryan. “Don’t trees fall down all the time?”
    â€œWell, this tree landed on a house.”
    â€œWas anybody hurt?” asked Emily, all worried.
    â€œNo.”
    â€œThen why was it a big story?” asked Mr. Granite.
    â€œThe tree fell on Mayor Hubble’s house,” Mrs. Lilly told us.
    â€œOh, and that’s a big story?” asked Alexia.
    â€œWell, it landed on the mayor’s bathroom,” Mrs. Lilly said, “and the mayor was in the bathroom at the time. You see, a tree falling down is boring. And a tree falling down on the mayor’s house is still pretty boring. But a tree falling down on the mayor’s bathroom while he’s on the toilet is a great human interest story. That’s what I look for: human interest stories.”
    â€œWhat happened to Mayor Hubble?” asked Emily, all concerned.
    â€œHe had to go,” said Mrs. Lilly.

    â€œOf course he had to go,” I said. “That’s why he was in the bathroom.”
    â€œNo,” said Mrs. Lilly. “I mean, after he went, he had to go.”
    â€œHow can you go right after you went?” asked Neil the nude kid.
    We went back and forth like that for a while until Mr. Granite interrupted.
    â€œI’m terribly sorry,” he said. “This is all very interesting, but we have to do our math lesson now.”
    Ugh. I hate math.
    â€œThat’s too bad,” said Mrs. Lilly. “I wanted to show the kids how we make the newspaper.”
    â€œOh, that would be neat!” said Andrea. “Don’t you want to learn how they make the newspaper?”
    â€œYes!” said all the girls except for Alexia.
    â€œNo!” said all the boys and Alexia.
    â€œMaybe you can come back another time to show the class how to make a newspaper,” suggested Mr. Granite.
    â€œI have a better idea,” said Mrs. Lilly. “When I come back, the kids and I can make a real newspaper together !”
    â€œThat’s a wonderful idea!” said Mr. Granite. “Would you kids like to make a real newspaper with Mrs. Lilly?”
    â€œYes!” yelled all the girls except for Alexia.
    â€œNo!” yelled all the boys and Alexia.
    â€œI can see the headline now,” said Mrs. lilly. “ ‘KIDS MAKE NEWSPAPER!’ I love it! But for now, I’ve got to go.”
    â€œDo you have to go, or do you have to go ?” I asked.
    â€œI have to go,” she replied, “and it’s an emergency!”
    I still didn’t know if Mrs. Lilly had to go, or if she had to go . In any case, she went running out of the room.
    Mrs. Lilly is silly.

“Okay,” Mr. Granite said after Mrs. Lilly was gone, “turn to page twenty-three in your math books.”
    We all took out our math books and turned to page twenty-three. But you’ll never believe who walked into the doorway a few minutes later.

    It was Mrs. Lilly again!
    â€œMrs. Lilly! I thought you said you had to go,” said Mr. Granite.