Free Duplicity by Ian Woodhead Page A
Authors: Ian Woodhead
given her such a huge amount of money. Joanie put the cider down and took the wad out of her pocket; she’d yet to spend any of it. Going back to the home just to see if her gran was okay played on her mind; Joanie grinned, maybe she really was going funny in the head. If that was the case, there may be a chance to rip some more cash from the woman.
That sounded like a good plan to her, it was obvious that her friends had buggered off, not that it was any skin off her nose, they’d left her the cider, that’s all that mattered. Maybe their mums had rang them and ordered the pair home, yeah that made sense. They’d leave the bottles, of course they would. If either Emma or Tessa were caught stinking of booze, they’d be grounded for a month.
Joanie stuffed the cash back into her jacket pocket then paused as the germ of an idea pushed through her mind. Why don’t I get my own phone?” There’d be no frustration of having to abide by her mum’s ridiculous impositions any more. The fact that the old she-bitch wouldn’t be able to contact her just made the idea even sweeter.
It looked as though her plans for the next day were already set in place now. The first thing in the morning, she intended to have a wander around the town, to see what phone bargains she could find. Those poor sales people wouldn’t know what hit them when Joanie came knocking at their door.
That black cloud had just disappeared all together, Joanie couldn’t remember being so happy. She picked up the fullest bottle and made her way out of the playground, looking forward to paying another visit to her dear gran.
Her preoccupation with finally removing her mother’s ball and chain did not stop Joanie from keeping a look out for her two friends. Her theory about them buggering off after receiving a text or call from their mum fit all the fact except for just one. The cows would have waited for her before scurrying home.
As she approached the main gates, Joanie caught movement just outside the park, beside the road. It was those two alright; she’d recognise Tessa’s tight scarlet trousers and big fat arse stuck up as she kneeled down next to Emma anywhere. What where they doing? Emma looked up as Joanie approached them. They were crowded around a drain cover, she wondered if one of them had dropped something down there. Joanie would just piss her knickers with laughter if it turned out to be one of their phones.
“You’ve lost your cider.” She said.
Emma gestured her over. “Oh god, Joanie, you just have to see this!”
She gazed at her friend’s flushed excited face. The girl’s large dark blue eyes stared right back at her. “You look like you’ve just had your first orgasm.”
Her friend shrugged, “There’s a little man down here, Joanie.” She moved to one side. “Honest, I’m not shitting you up.”
Had she just heard those words correctly? Joanie didn’t bother retorting, it was fairly obvious that she’d seen something down that drain. The girl was too thick to make up such a weird tale. Joanie hurried over and handed the bottle to Emma. “Don’t even think of taking a sip, I’ve spat in that.” She pushed Tessa out of the way. “If either of you are having a laugh here, I’ll drown the pair of you.”
Joanie could make out something moving down there in the gloom, it was too dark to tell what it was though, maybe a small dog or some fucking huge rat. Joanie pushed her fingers through the gaps, gripped the bars and pulled the cover up.
“Be careful.” Tessa whispered.
“Hush it.” Joanie snatched the bottle from Emma’s hand, took another swig before holding the bottle over the hole. She could still see the thing down there, why had it not buggered off? As soon as she had lifted the cover, Joanie had expected it to dart off, further into the sewers. She giggled, not that it bothered her. She gazed at both her friends and grinned. “Bombs away, she said, dropping the bottle.”
The screeches and
That sounded like a good plan to her, it was obvious that her friends had buggered off, not that it was any skin off her nose, they’d left her the cider, that’s all that mattered. Maybe their mums had rang them and ordered the pair home, yeah that made sense. They’d leave the bottles, of course they would. If either Emma or Tessa were caught stinking of booze, they’d be grounded for a month.
Joanie stuffed the cash back into her jacket pocket then paused as the germ of an idea pushed through her mind. Why don’t I get my own phone?” There’d be no frustration of having to abide by her mum’s ridiculous impositions any more. The fact that the old she-bitch wouldn’t be able to contact her just made the idea even sweeter.
It looked as though her plans for the next day were already set in place now. The first thing in the morning, she intended to have a wander around the town, to see what phone bargains she could find. Those poor sales people wouldn’t know what hit them when Joanie came knocking at their door.
That black cloud had just disappeared all together, Joanie couldn’t remember being so happy. She picked up the fullest bottle and made her way out of the playground, looking forward to paying another visit to her dear gran.
Her preoccupation with finally removing her mother’s ball and chain did not stop Joanie from keeping a look out for her two friends. Her theory about them buggering off after receiving a text or call from their mum fit all the fact except for just one. The cows would have waited for her before scurrying home.
As she approached the main gates, Joanie caught movement just outside the park, beside the road. It was those two alright; she’d recognise Tessa’s tight scarlet trousers and big fat arse stuck up as she kneeled down next to Emma anywhere. What where they doing? Emma looked up as Joanie approached them. They were crowded around a drain cover, she wondered if one of them had dropped something down there. Joanie would just piss her knickers with laughter if it turned out to be one of their phones.
“You’ve lost your cider.” She said.
Emma gestured her over. “Oh god, Joanie, you just have to see this!”
She gazed at her friend’s flushed excited face. The girl’s large dark blue eyes stared right back at her. “You look like you’ve just had your first orgasm.”
Her friend shrugged, “There’s a little man down here, Joanie.” She moved to one side. “Honest, I’m not shitting you up.”
Had she just heard those words correctly? Joanie didn’t bother retorting, it was fairly obvious that she’d seen something down that drain. The girl was too thick to make up such a weird tale. Joanie hurried over and handed the bottle to Emma. “Don’t even think of taking a sip, I’ve spat in that.” She pushed Tessa out of the way. “If either of you are having a laugh here, I’ll drown the pair of you.”
Joanie could make out something moving down there in the gloom, it was too dark to tell what it was though, maybe a small dog or some fucking huge rat. Joanie pushed her fingers through the gaps, gripped the bars and pulled the cover up.
“Be careful.” Tessa whispered.
“Hush it.” Joanie snatched the bottle from Emma’s hand, took another swig before holding the bottle over the hole. She could still see the thing down there, why had it not buggered off? As soon as she had lifted the cover, Joanie had expected it to dart off, further into the sewers. She giggled, not that it bothered her. She gazed at both her friends and grinned. “Bombs away, she said, dropping the bottle.”
The screeches and