Free Hot Sheets by Ray Gordon Page B

Knickerlace," Mike reassured her.
    "Yes, she
will, and when she does, she'll be for the high jump! Right, I'll
start by searching this room!"
    The end is
nigh, Mike surmised, gazing blankly at the grouchy old woman. If
she searched the room and discovered the knickerless girl with
spunk oozing from her cunt, there'd be hell to pay - prison, even!
Life stinks, he reflected - life fucking stinks!
    "What happened
to you last night, mate?" Trudie asked as Mike approached the
reception desk the following morning.
    "I had to stay
in hiding downstairs. That Knickerlace woman was searching for one
of her girls and..."
    "Oh, no! You
didn't..."
    "Bloody right
I did! Hell's bells, she was tight! As tight as the Virgin Mary, I
reckon - tighter, even."
    "Mike, if
you'd been caught with your trousers down..."
    "Or with the
girl's wet knickers down!"
    "It's not
funny!"
    "It's all
right, the old witch didn't discover what I'd been up to - I hid
the sex-crazed little beauty under my bed. Christ, I just love
fresh pussies!"
    "So do I! Oh,
I mean... what happened to the girl?"
    "When the old
bat had gone, I dragged her out and sent her upstairs - well fucked
and spunked! I thought it best that I stay locked below deck for
the rest of the evening. By the way, what was that loud bang
earlier?"
    "Er...
nothing."
    "It woke me
up, I thought it was a bloody earthquake! It wasn't one of your
earth-shuddering orgasms, was it?"
    "No, of course
it wasn't."
    "Oh, that's
odd - perhaps I was dreaming."
    "You must have
been because I didn't hear anything."
    "Where did the
girls sleep?"
    "I don't know,
Paul sorted them out."
    "I'll bet he
did!"
    "They've gone,
you'll be pleased to hear. The woman left the address of the
school, it's in the diary."
    "Thank God for
that. It's a shame they didn't leave any dirty knickers for me to
sniff!"
    "Is that all
you ever think about?"
    "Yes, of
course. Right, it's now eight o'clock so let's get this hotel into
gear. How were the bar takings last night?"
    "Pretty good,
mate. We could have done with your help, Mike, it was really busy.
I did the till and put the money in the safe."
    "Excellent! I
feel it's going to be a good day, Trudie. You know how you get that
exhilarating feeling that everything's going to go your way? It's
going to be a brilliant day! I can feel it in my bollocks, can't
you?"
    "I haven't got
any bollocks."
    "Well, in your
ovaries, then."
    "The only
thing I can feel is my cunt, and it's dripping wet!"
    "I'll lick it
clean for you later. Dare I ask how the breakfasts are going?"
    "That's a grey
area."
    "I'd better
not ask, then."
    "Er... no,
you'd better not!"
    "Come on, tell
me what's happened."
    "I don't think
you'll be able to take it."
    "Christ, I'm
used to disasters!"
    "Well, a minor
incident in the kitchen, as you'd inappropriately put it."
    "Go on!" Mike
sighed.
    "Well, you
know you needed a new cooker..."
    "Yes."
    "Er... you'll
have to buy one today."
    "Why?"
    "It was only a
small explosion."
    "Holy nipples!
A brilliant day, my arse!"
    "There's no
real damage. Well, not much, anyway."
    Dashing across the foyer, Mike burst into the kitchen to
discover Dave dragging the charred and buckled cooker through the
back door into the yard. Holding his head, he cast his eyes round
the room at the pots and pans strewn across the floor, the
smoke-blackened ceiling. I'll give him
life's like his cock! I'll chew his balls off!
    "Oh, hi,
Mike!" Dave grinned bashfully as he entered the kitchen, wiping his
greasy hands on a clean tea towel. "You'll never guess what
happened."
    "Your scrotum
blew up?"
    "No."
    "You've done
the breakfasts, successfully, for a change?"
    "Well, not
exactly."
    "What,
then?"
    "It's a funny
thing, really strange - the cooker exploded."
    "Exploded?"
    "Bang! Just
like that."
    "All by
itself?"
    "Well,
yes."
    "Where were
you at the time?"
    "Luckily, I
was in the dining room. I could have had my bollocks blown
off!"
    "OK, I want
the truth, or I'll stuff a hand grenade down your trousers and