Free Me Without You by Rona Go Page A

she
frequented the Church.
    Jonah looked towards the right side
corner of the altar where the big piano was. She froze, almost
forgetting to breathe and think as she saw two boys who were
looking over sheets of paper.
    Even with his bonnet, which was pulled
low to his face, the tall boy about her age, looking through the
other one’s brown-haired head who sat by the piano, was undeniably
familiar. Although, it was the last place Jonah thought she would
find Xavier, it was so unexpected to see him there, looking like—
he was supposed to be there.
    X…
    Jonah was feeling foolish all of a
sudden. For so many weeks, she had thrown herself towards Xavier
just to get a word from him—she almost camped outside of his house.
But seeing Xavier again just a few meters away from her and she
could not think of anything but her hair and the lack of
make-up.
    I am not moving an inch…even
when he sees me . Jonah thought to herself.
She squirmed a bit, her hands feeling sweaty all of a sudden. She
noted three more people inside the Church. They were in deep
prayer.
    God, if they see me
here…I’ll die . She thought. It never
entered her mind the possibility of bumping into Xavier inside the
Church. Since he was avoiding her for so long, he wouldn't turn up
in the same places he knew Jonah will likely find him. It had been
Xavier who drew her to Church then. His voice…his looks—making out.
But it was also him who drove her away from the place. She wasn’t
expecting to see him at all when she decided to be left behind
because all she wanted to do was to avoid being asked to play a
part in Rebecca’s services.
    Maybe, he wants to be
found… Jonah reasoned to herself recalling
what Hugh said that Xavier was getting well and he may connect with
her again.
    Without taking her eyes off from the
altar, Jonah felt blindly through her sling bag for the little
mirror she always carried with her. When she finally found it
amidst the mess inside, she flipped it open and looked at her
reflection without taking the mirror from the bag. She slouched
lower to take a peek at herself but all she could see was a part of
her face from her eyes to her nose, which wasn't that disappointing
at all.
    God, my hair…why did I cut
my hair?
    "Why should I feel
discouraged…why should the shadows come…why should my heart feel
lonely…And long for Heav'n and home," Xavier's strong male voice
reverberated through with his own rendition of His Eye is on the Sparrow by Civilla
Martin.
    Giving up on the mirror, Jonah zipped
her bag close and leaned forward, resting her face on both clasped
hands. His voice hadn’t changed a bit. She mentally
noted.
    The boy’s head turned an
inch towards Jonah’s direction and her heart almost leaped through
her throat. However, she kept still. He
shouldn’t see me at all … if he sees me, what will I say?
    Jonah felt very different when she was
forcing her way to see him. She had felt the drive. The anger. The
motivation. The obstinacy. But with Xavier just a few steps away,
with no hindrance, Jonah felt like cowering away.
    Xavier stopped just as the piano
stopped. From where Jonah was, she could hear a few of the two
boys’ fragmented conversation and their laughter.
    " Can't do it—" Xavier said.
    "You—beat—let go—" Dean, the dark
haired boy whom Jonah knew as well, answered.
    If he sings again, it will
be my time to leave … Then, he won’t notice me at all. Then, I can just call him to
meet up some other time. WHEN I AM READY. Jonah reflected, planning her hopefully undetected exit. While
waiting to hear his voice again, she observed him from a
far.
    His contours seemed on the
leaner—in fact thinner side. Jonah examined. The light overhead
reflected brightly through his face, making it even looked lighter
from afar. His face…the cheekbones were a little bit prominent. And
his skin—definitely needed a lot of color. Well, he is still nice to look at… Jonah concluded.
    A movement from the corner