Free Miss Small Is off the Wall! by Dan Gutman Page B

To beat the other team.”
    â€œCompeting is icky,” said Andrea.
    â€œIt doesn’t matter if you win or lose, A.J. It’s how you play the game that counts,” said Miss Small. “In Fizz Ed, our goal is to have fun and build strong, healthy bodies. But most of all, by the end of the term, I want you all to have cooties.”
    â€œCooties!” everybody shrieked.
    â€œGirls have cooties!” shouted all the boys.
    â€œBoys have cooties!” shouted all the girls.
    I never really knew what cooties were, but I knew they were something horrible that you wouldn’t want to get.
    â€œ Everybody should have cooties,” said Miss Small. “Cooties stands for COOperation, TEAmwork, and Sportsmanship.”
    Oh. I didn’t care much about that stuff. I just wanted to beat Andrea Young at something because she thinks she is so smart. Besides, words that are made from the letters of other words are dumb.
    Miss Small blew her whistle again.
    â€œBefore we do anything, we have to stretch.”
    Miss Small got down on the floor again and did some push-ups. Then we had to do push-ups. She did some sit-ups. Then we had to do sit-ups. She did some windmills and arm circles. Then we had to do windmills and arm circles.
    â€œSee if you can touch your toes,” Miss Small said. “Now see if you can touch thesky. You want to be loose as a goose in a caboose.”
    Stretching was boring, and dumb, too. Nobody can touch the sky. After we stretched, Miss Small made us do about a million hundred jumping jacks.
    â€œIsn’t this fun?” Miss Small asked when we were finished.
    I thought I was gonna throw up.
    She blew her whistle again.
    â€œOkay, now that we’re all as loose as a goose in a caboose, who wants to play a game?”
    â€œI do!” we all shouted.
    Finally!

4
A Dumb Balancing Act
    â€œAre we gonna play football?” I asked Miss Small.
    â€œNo,” Miss Small said.
    â€œHow about basketball?” asked Ryan.
    â€œNope.”
    â€œSoccer?”
    â€œNot even close.”
    â€œBaseball? Hockey? Tennis?”
    â€œNo. No. No.”
    â€œCurling?” I asked.
    â€œNo.”
    â€œI thought you said we were gonna have fun,” Michael complained.
    â€œI did,” said Miss Small.
    â€œSo what are we gonna do?” I asked.
    Miss Small went to a box near the bleachers and pulled out some giant feathers that were as long as her arms.
    â€œWe’re going to balance these peacock feathers,” she said.
    â€œWhat!” I asked.
    â€œWhoever can balance a feather on their finger the longest is the winner,”Miss Small said. She took a feather and balanced it on her finger. “See, it’s easy!”

    She gave each of us a feather. I put the feather on my finger. It fell off right away. I put it back on my finger, and it fell off again. I tried moving my finger back and forth like Miss Small did to hold the feather up, but it fell off anyway.
    Balancing feathers was not fun. It was dumb.

    I looked up to see if Ryan could balance his feather. But his fell off. I turned around to see how Michael was doing. His feather fell off too.
    In fact, there was only one kid in the whole class who was still balancing the dumb feather.
    It was Andrea Young! Her dumb feather was just standing up all straight on her dumb finger like it was glued there.
    â€œGood job, Andrea!” said Miss Small. “You have excellent balance.” And she gave Andrea a certificate that said she was a feather-balancing expert.
    â€œThanks, Miss Small,” Andrea said. “Maybe Fizz Ed won’t be so bad after all!”
    I hate her.

5
Howdy, Pardner!
    After we were finished with that dumb stuff, Miss Small collected all the feathers and blew her whistle.
    â€œOkay, let’s have all the boys line up on one side of the gym and all the girls line up on the other side.”
    â€œAll right!” I whispered to Ryan.