Free Purgatorium by J.H. Carnathan Page A

at that exact moment.
    50 Minutes
    The man sits down at the finely decorated table on the opposite side facing me. I can’t help but see him as a man full of panache and variety. He seems classy and self-assured, but definitely trending toward bohemian.
    “First and foremost, I’m Gabriel . And you? Well, you’re all just screwed up in the head, aren’t you? But you already knew that from what this whole day has been like for you and all.”
    Gabriel cuts a piece of steak, lifts it on his fork to his mouth, and then stops. He puts the fork and steak down, sticks his hand into his pocket, and pulls out a silver and white wrapper. Reaching into his mouth, he takes out a chewed piece of gum and folds it into the wrapper.
    “That would have been bad,” Gabriel says.
    I see the name on the wrapper: “Tredstones.” Where do I know that name from?
    “What question can you never honestly answer yes to?” Gabriel asks, taking a bite of the steak. “I’ll answer it for you if you sit with me.” He offers the seat opposite of him, welcoming me with a wide gesture. “Have some food and drink. You never seem to want to eat or drink. Some would question how you’re still alive, but we know better. Please, sit.”
    I am somewhat curious as to what the answer is as I go to sit, but do not eat.
    “If you don’t eat or drink, then you make the host—me—feel very unappreciated and obliged to withhold any dinner talk.”
    I look at Gabriel. Better to appease him, I think. I look down at my plate and take a bite, chewing it slowly. I notice that I cannot taste anything. I take another bite—still no flavor.
    “The answer to the question, What question can you never honestly answer yes to, comes accompanied by two other questions.” Gabriel takes another bite, savoring it delightfully. “Wait, did you say something?”
    We look at each other for a moment in silence. The sunglasses hide his emotions.
    “Oh, okay, never mind. Now where were we? Ah yes! The answer comes in two questions being… Are you asleep? Or are you dead?”
    That was it? I think. I am foolish to have even sat down. I should leave before I find out that I have been drugged once again by a crazy loon.
    He repeats himself, “What question can you never honestly answer yes to? Answer: Are you asleep? Or are you dead? Do you get it? Because I feel like you don’t truly get it. Though that is why we are here. For...you…to…get…it.”
    Gabriel takes another bite of his steak as I feel troubled for what he is trying to apply.
    “To taste something is God’s greatest gift to man. I would divulge more, but time is of the essence.”
    Gabriel cuts the last piece of his steak and sticks it in his mouth.
    What’s happening to me? I think as panic sets in again. Gabriel crosses his silverware on his plate and uses the napkin to clean off his lips.
    “Now how should I begin? Let’s start with you being in an accident.”
    By now, not trusting anything I have seen or heard, I do not react.
    “Did you hear what I said? You were in an accident and I am not talking about your little shaving accident.” Gabriel eyes my neck and looks at it with wonder.
    “You’re acting more strangely than usual. Well, change can be good. Moving on! Let’s start off small and work our way up. You see, there are two types of souls that exist here: a lost soul and a soul survivor. A lost soul is someone who has given up on life. A soul survivor is someone willing to fight for their second chance on life. But you still haven’t decided which one you are. You see, to be either, you must be half dead, which, I’m sorry to say, you are.”
    I can’t believe what he is saying. I stand up about to walk away when Gabriel magically appears in front of me.
    How did he do that?
    “You’re neither asleep nor dead. Merely a hollow shell of a man. Do you get it now? That’s right, my boy, you’re a comatose patient at St. Vincent’s Hospital, room 505, where you’re fed through