Free Losing Control by Jessica Jarman Page A

dating pond I get to fish from. Though to be fair, they’re not all like this, but damn, these are the ones that stick out.” Then she frowned and shut the laptop. “You don’t want to hear about this, I’m sure. I wasn’t thinking.”
    “Maggie.” He sighed. “You can talk to me. I thought we were past this awkwardness. I’d like us to be friends.”
    She tilted her head. “I don’t want to lead you on, and I feel like I’ve done just that. The first night and at the wedding… I can’t explain what happened. I was overwhelmed emotionally both times, thinking of Kate and Gabe and missing Dad… I mean, it’s not fair to you, especially if you want something more.” She stood and circled the desk to stand in front of it.
    “You overthink things,” he pointed out. “There isn’t any reason we can’t get to know each other, enjoy each other’s company. I’m here to stay, Maggie. It’s going to get awfully uncomfortable if you feel like you have to censor everything around me.”
    “You’d be fine with being just friends?” She looked skeptical.
    He shrugged and stepped forward, unwilling to voice his denial and his desire for much more than friendship. “Is that all you’re willing to give?”
     
    Spencer stopped when they were mere centimeters apart. Heat radiated off him and seeped into her. She rested her palms on his chest with the intention of pushing him away, but instead, ended up fisting the front of his T-shirt. God, she couldn’t think around him. And that was the crux of the problem. When he was near her, all her careful plans disappeared, and rational thought fled.
    “We can’t.” She cursed as her voice shook.
    “Why?” he asked, pressing even closer until her ass hit the edge of her desk. “You’re not involved with anyone else.”
    “Yet,” she insisted.
    “Yet,” he repeated. “If that changes, then…we’ll see.”
    “Why are you doing this?” she asked desperately.
    “I want you to admit that you want me.” He held her gaze, his eyes dark. “Don’t rationalize and blame it on something—your jealousy, your grief. Quit making excuses and admit that you want me .”
    “It could never work.” She shook her head, even as her heart raced and she yearned to wrap herself around him.
    “Oh,” he dropped a kiss on her lips, “I think we’ve already proved it can work. Very well.”
    “Not the sex part, idiot.” She couldn’t hold back the quick laugh. “That part—” She stuttered to a stop as he pulled her blouse from the waistband of her skirt and started undoing the buttons. “Spencer, please.”
    He bent his head and ran his tongue along the curve of her breast above the lace of her bra. “Admit you want me, Maggie Monroe. Admit it.” His breath whispered across the damp skin, and she shivered deliciously.
    “Of course I do.” She gripped the edge of the desk, leaning on it as her knees buckled beneath her. “But that’s not the point. I’m not looking for just sex. I need…” Spencer moved lower and pulled her taut nipple in his mouth, suckling through the fabric. “Oh God.”
    He lifted his head and stared down at her. “Tell me to stop, darlin’. Tell me you don’t want this, and I’ll walk out the door right now. Say the word.”
    For a moment, only the sound of their quickened breathing filled the room. She should tell him to stop, and focus on her future—which he had no part of. At least not in a romantic way. But, saints help her, she couldn’t. She wanted him. At that moment, all that mattered, all that filled her mind was what was happening between the two of them. Shaking her head, she brought her hands between them and fumbled with the button to his jeans. He covered her hands, stopping her movements, and held her gaze. Then he let go and allowed her undo his pants. As she slid them over his hips, he gripped her elbows and took a few steps back, pulling her with him. Once his cock was freed, he lowered himself into the roomy