Free Chasing Paradise by Sondrae Bennett Page A

side. It was going to be much harder admitting everything with him so close and still inside her. As if reading her thoughts, Ethan stiffened inside her.
    “Uh, Ethan?”
    “Ignore it. We’re not moving until you tell me what you think you overheard.”
    An inhuman hiss slipped past her lips but she knew it was useless to fight. Reluctantly, she continued. She knew he would stay true to his promise and keep them here until she admitted everything. Unable to look into his eyes while so vulnerable, Gwen gazed over his shoulder as she spoke.
    “I heard you in the bar after you left my room that first night. I went down to find you, to see if you wanted to get breakfast together, and I overheard you talking about how you didn’t want a woman like me, an otter of all things, as your mate. I heard you talk about wanting a cheetah or a jaguar.” Gwen’s voice hardened with determination. “But you know what, you got me. You may not love me, and that’s okay, but we are mated, so I think it would be best if we at least try to be friends, or friendly.” Gwen finally brought herself to look into his eyes and was dismayed by the horror she saw reflected there.
    “Don’t worry. I’ll have my own life. Alyssa is here and I’m starting my own business, so I shouldn’t get in your way much. But there’s no reason why we can’t get along.” Gwen stumbled to a halt, not sure what else she should say. Ethan was looking more horrified by the second. Was being friends with her really so bad?
    * * * *
    Please God, let him not have been this big of an idiot. How had he been stupid enough to say those things? He hadn’t meant a word of it. Even at the time, it had been aimed to convince himself, not to deny what Gwen was to him. Gwen was everything he wanted in a mate and more. Intelligent, beautiful, and sweet. He’d been excited by the prospect of getting to know her better, of affection sliding into love during the next few weeks. Now it appeared he’d have to work just to get out of the hole he’d dug for himself first.
    Thinking about all the hurt he’d caused with his careless rejection killed him. Despite her prideful bravado, it was obvious Gwen carried wounds inside. As she stared up at him, he saw the uncertainty she tried to hide. How could he have done this to his mate? More importantly, what could he do or say to fix it?
    Keeping a tight grip on Gwen, Ethan sat up and shifted his precious bundle until she was curled on his lap. She held herself rigid against him as he ran his hands up and down her back soothingly.
    “Gwen, oh pet, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of it. I didn’t think I was ready for a mate, but, Gwen, I was wrong. Leaving your room was the worst mistake of my life. Please believe me when I tell you that you are perfect. You’re everything I dreamed my mate would be and more.”
    “Except I’m not a jaguar.” The whisper was so soft, Ethan wouldn’t have heard it without his extra-sensitive wolf hearing. Her pain bled into her voice and scent. Knowing he was the cause destroyed him. He was supposed to be her rock, her partner. When the rest of the world hurt her, he was supposed to be the one she ran to, the one to set it right. He’d failed before he even started.
    Whatever he had to do to fix this, he would, he silently vowed to himself. His mate would know what an amazing woman he thought she was. Never again would she doubt for one moment that she was the very center of his world.
    “Gwen, what can I do to convince you I didn’t mean what I said? Please, I’ll do anything. I don’t want a jaguar or a coyote. All I want is you.”
    As her shoulders straightened, Ethan knew it would take more to convince her of his sincerity. “It’s okay, Ethan. Like I said, I think we should come to an understanding. I would like to consider you a friend.” The walls were back in place. He could feel their solid bulk between them. Nothing more was going to be gained tonight. His hasty denial of