Free SelfSame by Melissa Conway Page A

with its slowness. Ben was conspicuous by his absence from the lunch room. She wondered if he’d come to school at all the last two days. He’d taken quite a beating, but from the look of his knuckles, had given as good as he got. She studied the faces around the room, but didn’t see anyone who looked like they’d been at the other end of those knuckles.
    In place of fifth period, they had to sit through a pep rally for the football team. She and Paula had attended every game for the last three years so Paula could secretly cheer on Dalton, who was a rather indifferent linebacker. There was a rare Saturday game tomorrow.
    “Are we going?” Sorcha asked.
    Paula’s shoulders drooped. “Probably shouldn’t, huh?”
    “You still like him.”
    “Of course I do.”
    Sorcha patted her on the back. “Then we’re going.”
    After school, on the way to Paula’s car, she made a point of sauntering past the truck she’d seen peeling out just before she’d found Ben face-down in the grass. It was jacked up too high for her to see into the side window. Casually, she asked Paula, “Whose truck is this?”
    “Um, you know Terri Frazier’s ex-boyfriend? I forget his name, but he’s a senior.”
    “John Nelson, isn’t it? Wasn’t he the guy Ben beat up and got put in juvie for?” Things were starting to make sense now. Ben had gotten jumped as payback.
    They reached Paula’s car. “Yeah, but I heard it didn’t happen like that.” Paula was talking to Sorcha over the hood, but she stopped and her gaze shifted. Sorcha turned just as Ben rode up next to her on his bike.
    He said, “Can I talk to you?”
    “What happened to your face?” Paula asked.
    His jaw tightened and he lifted his eyebrows at Sorcha.
    “Sure,” she said, and followed him to a patch of trampled grass too far away for Paula to hear.
    “I’m sorry I was a jerk the other day.” He appeared to be inspecting the ground when he said it, but he sounded sincere.
    “It’s alright.”
    He looked at her then. “It’s not alright. You helped me when a lot people would have left ‘that scumbag juvenile delinquent’ to rot out there.”
    She tilted her head. “I think it’d take a lot more than John Nelson and his friends to keep you down.”
    She watched, fascinated, as he fought the smile that crept over his lips and lost. With a little laugh, he shook his head. “I got my black belt when I was twelve. John upped his game – he got some moves he didn’t have two years ago – but, yeah, it took all four of them to put me in the dirt.”
    “Mud.”
    He full-on grinned at that and she caught her breath. His teeth were straight and white and a dimple winked into existence in his left cheek. It occurred to her suddenly that he’d done a one-eighty from the surly young man she’d walked with in the rain. Was there a reason he seemed to be pouring on the charm?
    “What did you want to talk to me about?”
    His grin melted away. “It’s just…I gotta know…who’d you hear about Bear Talker from?”
    She’d had a feeling he was going to ask her that. He’d been so upset about it.
    “You tell me why it’s so important,” she said, “and I’ll tell you what I know.” She had no intention of telling him the truth, but was confident it wouldn’t come to that anyway. He’d already said it was a secret; he wasn’t going to tell her anything.
    But he surprised her with, “Deal. You go first.”
    “No. You.”
    His lips thinned in a quick flare of annoyance, but he kept his voice steady. As if he was talking to a three-year-old he said, “If I tell you, there’s a very good chance you won’t believe me.”
    That got her attention. Before she stopped to consider the potential ramifications, she heard herself say, “Ditto.”
    It must have dawned on him that they were at an impasse. “Fine.”
    “Fine.” She started to turn away.
    “Wait.” He put a hand on her arm and let out a little growl of reluctance. “Okay.” He pinched